Gaye's Scarf

Book Review: The Game of Kings by Dorothy Dunnett

I loved this book. It was well written, funny, believable, full of adventure and had really great characters who grew and learned over the period of the book. They also have enough mystery about them that the next book in the series is next on my list to buy!

Dunnett was highly recommended on one of my favorite author's web-sites. So, I picked up the book, started reading it and was sucked in even though I didn't really get what was going on. The plot follows a Scot, Francis Culter of Lymond, in 1547-1548 as he eludes the law and his brother in an attempt to clear the accusations of him as a spy for the British. At several points I wondered how on earth there could be a series of books about Lymond since, well, he was surely going to die or be caught or both, but somehow he manages to elude capture and survive.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys historical fiction. It is a forerunner (published in 1961) of the genre so doesn't have a lot of the conventions that historical fiction written more recently--like historical clues, translation of dialect, etc. However, Dunnett is a talented writer who can weave a story "like nobody's business" and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Tony's Scarf Finished

Tony's Scarf in Progress

Mom's Scarf is Finished!

And when I'm done admiring it, I'll send it to her. I still need to wash it and cut the fringe, but here it is. I think it came out really nice. The basket weave sections kind of pucker up and the other sections lay really flat. I got to learn how to switch weft colors, which was challenging, but allows for an interesting end product!

I hope she likes it!

I know...

I'm a little (ok a lot) obsessed...but this is so much fun! I have another scarf (for Mom) warped. It's purple and yellow strips. I will weave it with the yellow and a lighter purple and green variegated thread stripes. The yellow stripes will be woven in basket weave. I love it...I want it...but will give it to Mom and make another one for me. And the funny thing is I don't really wear scarves...until now at least :)

And now it's finished!

It's a little short. I didn't account for either stretching or my loom size or something...I'm going to increase the length of the warp on the next one and see if I get it right! I still love it!

I have a scarf warped already!

It's 11:30 and I already have my scarf warped! I'll be a weaving fiend in a little bit.

Snuggling

Finished at 4pm!

8 Harnesses and 10 Treadles

Some Assembly Required :)

10pm...we have the main frame of the loom complete. We still have to put all the treadles and harnesses together, and that looks like it's going to require more coordination than either David or I have right now, so we're calling it quits for today...more updates tomorrow.

Progress

At 11:30 we had the warping reel and the bench oiled and in pieces on the porch.

They were built by 1pm.

Then we went through all the pieces of the loom and have oiled them once at 3:45...there are LOTS of pieces.

It's here!

In boxes and didn't get here until 10pm last night. I'd given it up for lost and was trying to figure out what to do with myself since I'd finished everything I needed to do so that I could spend the weekend putting everything together. At any rate, this is what it looks like at 9:30am. I'll put updates as major progress is made throughout the weekend.

The loom!

The loom is out for delivery! I can hardly wait until it gets here. I'll have pictures of the whole thing in progress as it's built...

Basking in the Sunshine

It may be cold outside, but the sunshine is indeed warm!

Happy Birthday Alyssa and Elizabeth!

The Holidays are Officially Over

This I know because I took my tree down yesterday and the Aggies lost their bowl game!

I do have a couple of friends coming over last night and I guess we'll stay up until midnight and ring in the new year...and wait for our children to come home who are out ringing in the new year elsewhere...but that's it.

Looking Back and Forward

As the old year ends and the new year begins, we always tend to look back and think of all the things we didn't accomplish and try to set better goals for ourselves next year...I think that's such a negative way of looking at things. This past year has certainly been topsy turvy for me, at many times I thought "what the hell am I up to anyway?" but I've learned a lot and am certainly in different place than I was last year--for better and worse--and that's pretty much been the theme for my entire life. I grow, I shrink, I think, I act rashly, I love, I hate...but no matter what I do I try really really hard to do my best at everything...and honestly that can be a bit overwhelming as I think we humans have a reservoir for stress and mine has flooded so many times....

A few of the highlights and lowlights from 2007:

• I passed my comprehensive exams in June
• I quit my regular day-to-day job and went independent in February
• I fired a client in October, much to the dismay of my financial outlook
• I learned to weave in October
• I passed my preliminary proposal in December
• I went to Europe in May/June
• I've made new friends this year
• I've made big strides to improve my marital relationship
• I've tried really hard to be a good parent to teenagers, though my tongue is raw most days (from biting it), I think I'm doing a fairly good job
• I did not lose the 20 pounds I wanted to
• I did not do a good job of staying away from sweets

Things I definitely want to accomplish in 2008

• Experiment with weaving and try to become good at it
• Pass my proposal
• Lose 20 pounds and keep it off
• Be a good parent to my teenagers and help them get prepared for life on their own
• Be a good wife to my husband and prepare ourselves for a life of our own
• Continue to develop my good friendships
• Go to Europe in May/June

It shipped!

Should be here by Wednesday!

Merry Christmas!

I wish a Merry Christmas to all...I hope you got everything you wished for. I did. It's been a very happy Christmas for all around here.

My presents included:

• 2 needlepoint canvases--Cat Hugger and Sunflower House
• 3 books
• a Tiffany gift card (to buy a heart charm for my collection)
• a journal to write my weaving progress in (should I ever get my loom)
• 3 cross stitch patterns
• and in my stocking 6 different yarns from a "grab bag"...I love them all.

Anniversary Gift

In the big box Mom asked about was...the beautiful red purse I have on my shoulder in the previous entry...and a turquoise heart charm to go with my collection. A very nice "haul" indeed :)

17th Anniversary

David and I celebrated our 17th anniversary on Saturday by going out to dinner and spending a fun evening together.

Just a Quick Update

Things here have been going and going...here are a few high points:

• Today is David's birthday--Happy Birthday David!
• I'm still waiting for my loom!
• Elizabeth got her braces off one month ago. I'm still waiting to get a picture of her for the blog
• I'm buying yarn and doing everything I can to set up my weaving studio...but...
• I'm still waiting for my loom!
• I'm having good responses to my pre-proposal. That means I'll be writing a dissertation proposal in January.
• I'm very happy and comfortable with my half-time employment and graduate student status.
• My 17th Anniversary is Saturday. I cannot wait to open that big box that's been sitting in my room for WEEKS now!
• I'm really enjoying The Game of Kings by Dorothy Dunnett. I like it so much I know I can stop in the middle of a page or chapter and get right back to it because I'll be thinking about it most of the time I'm not reading.
• I have jury duty next week. Not looking forward to it, but it will be a fact of life for the next year.
• We are hosting a Christmas party next weekend. Really looking forward to that. I'm cooking pumpkin pasta--vegetarian--and Christmas pasta, both from Rachel Ray's 365 No Repeats (the best cookbook I've ever owned).
• I'm beginning to seriously plan a trip back to Wimberley for more weaving lessons.
• My loom still hasn't arrived!

On that last point, I'm off to see if I can find a suitable substitute to get me weaving in the down time while waiting on the loom. I have a peg-loom but I wasn't really very happy with it, so I'm going to see if I can find Harrisville's Easy Weaver that has a warp already on it. It's pretty simple but will allow me to work with the yarns I already have and make something more interesting than a 9x11 thing...

More Dreams

I think my recent spate of vivid dreams is probably more because of the fact that I'm finally sleeping without stress...

Last night I dreamed that David was out getting food--all kinds of "bad" food. Jelly Bellies on the counter in a giant 5 pound bag (they really have them, btw, just go to Office Depot!), cakes, cookies, bags of stuff from Chili's. Candy, ice cream...you name it. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to eat it all but I did. I couldn't choose just a little bit of something and knew if I started eating I wouldn't stop until it was all gone. Some of it was gross, too, having sat on the counter for several hours while I slept.

I woke up with the dream unresolved. I always have dreams of guiltily eating "bad for you" food when I'm trying to eat healthily. Sometimes it's so delectable that I can't believe I went this long witout chocolate cake...sometimes I feel so guilty. This time I was over-awed.

Betsy

I name all my angels and since my dear Aunt Betty bought this canvas for me, I've named my Angel Tree in honor of her!

Dreaming

My dreams have been kind of crazy lately. I've been dreaming of my typical dreams--new parts of my house that I didn't know about or use, climbing hills/stairs, being angry or frustrated with the kids. I've even been dreaming of weaving again, which is nice because I worried when I stopped that my infatuation with weaving was just that and after I went and spent a lot of money on a loom and accessories to set up my studio, an infatuation just wouldn't satisfy!

But, I've also been having weird dreams where I'm dreaming that I'm dreaming and talking in my sleep. Imagine this. I'm dreaming that I'm working on a puzzle and I figure it out, I say enthusiastically "Score!" and I wake up thinking that I've just said it outloud. I've had other dreams where I've been talking to David or going places and waking up thinking that I was really doing the talking and not just dreaming the talking. David has assured me that I haven't awakened him with my talking, but that doesn't mean I'm not talking in my sleep (or is it my dreams?) I've even had dreams that I'm talking in my sleep and realizing that I'm doing it and then I'm really embarrassed or worried about what I've said.

It's weird and keeps happening...it's almost as annoying as my losing my teeth dreams--and don't worry, I'm still having those too!

Christmas Tree

Didn't get it...

Didn't get the job. I'm surprised and a little disappointed, but not overly so...

Back to focusing on dissertation writing and waiting for the appropriate job!

Job Interview

I have a job interview at USM this afternoon. I have mixed feelings about whether I want a full-time regular job. I've enjoyed consulting and being able to set my own schedule, but I haven't enjoyed the lack of certainty about contracts and paychecks. Plus I had committed to spending the next year focusing on my dissertations. The question that arises is will the job, if I get it, interfere with the dissertation or push me to complete it because I'll be less stressed? Or will I be more stressed since I'll be working in yet another position that has not been in place before (in other words, I'll be the first "me" again as I have been in every single job I've had in Mississippi)? There's the old panic of when I'll manage to get everything I've been doing the past year at home (shopping, clothes washing, cooking, accounting, etc.)? But, there's a paycheck, regular insurance, tuition reimbursement, etc...stability.

Book Review, of sorts

I loved Faking It! by Jennifer Crusie. She's a terrific writer, has a great easy-to-read style, and her characters are so much fun. I found myself not wanting to finish the book because I didn't want my time with these people to be over.

Other than that, I don't have much to say--or I have too much to say and I'm simply too tired to say it. If you like a contemporary, fun, light and easy-to-read book that won't challenge you too hard, go read Crusie...there's just something about her that makes life fun. And that's a good thing!

I've been a busy girl

At least I think I have. I've been tired in the evenings and feel like my whole day has been running from one project to the other, but I don't know what specifically I've managed to accomplish other than getting the Christmas tree up, finally, and wrapping presents as they are delivered.

My good news is that I have a job interview on Friday. I feel good about the interview and hopeful that it'll turn into an offer...guess we'll see where it goes.

Still waiting on my loom and hoping that I haven't totally forgotten everything I learned in weaving class!

The Holidays have Officially Begun

David and I are talking about how we'd like to decorate the tree. The kids are asking when we're going to put it up. We're planning our trip to Texas for Thanksgiving and are even getting to meet up with friends we met in Europe along the way. The Christmas cards are addressed, stamped and awaiting the family photo. Presents are even bought and some are wrapped--others are on their way.

Oh, and my birthday is this week...always a marker for the "start" of the holidays even though it's 2 days after Thanksgiving this year.

Let me know some of your favorite holiday traditions. I'll be writing about some of mine after I get back from my trip.

...And I take a bow...

...Because I believe I'm the first person in America who is actually finished with her Christmas shopping!

Book Review: The Second Mrs. Darcy by Elizabeth Aston

The Second Mrs. Darcy by Elizabeth Aston is really quite an enjoyable book. I had a little trouble getting into it, but once I did, I didn't want it to end. I really enjoyed the main character Octavia. She developed into a fully grown and enjoyable woman who was independent and willing to do what it takes to fight for that independence.

The synopsis of the book is that Octavia Darcy is recently widowed and left very poor by her husband, Christopher Darcy whose first wife gambled him into serious debt. Since his property is entailed, it goes to the nearest male cousin. Fate would smile on Octavia, however, in the form of a great-aunt who died and left her her vast estates and wealth. Octavia, overnight, becomes a very wealthy woman.

The remainder of the book is focused on love matches between several of the characters a-la Jane Austen, and is quite fun and interesting to read. As I said, I really didn't want this book to end, and I can only hope that Aston revisits Octavia, but if the past four books are indication, she won't. I enjoyed this one more than the previous three, I think, because Octavia is a young woman, not a teenager growing up. If you like a good story, get this book.

Vignette #6

Alyssa and Elizabeth got in from church around 8:30 last night and brought up some conversation they were having with their youth leader that had to do with old laws on the books that aren't really applicable any more.

And the one that E quoted was that Mississippi law made illegal "any sexual positions but the military position."

"Missionary" Alyssa prompted, but David and I were already rolling in the floor.

That "Thornton" Luck

David often comments about "that Thornton luck" when referring to why I tend to win things that have no skill involved (drawings, slot machine, etc.). What he's referring to isn't "technically" Thornton, but we'll pretend that it is since the name Thornton is associated with all the lucky people in my family.

First there's my grandmother, Emma Thornton. She seems to always win little things from the radio, newspaper, etc.

Then there's my dad who won a new truck a few years ago in a local raffle.

And mom who won several thousand dollars in Las Vegas on only a few spins of the slot machine. She wisely didn't temp her luck, or she may have left Vegas a millionaire.

I've always won things. When I was a kid I had a knack for picking out the cereal boxes with the winning game piece. I had so many junky games and toys in my closet when I moved to college that it was a little surprising. I won a $1000 worth of jewelry from a local jewelry store when I was a freshman in college. I won a pizza party for 15 of my favorite friends from a radio station that same semester. While I've never stuck it big in the casinos, I do tend to leave with more money than I came with--same at the horse races...so I do consider myself a lucky person, though I've never won the lottery, which is really a dream of mine. Imagine $20 million. What I could do with that.

Another "lucky" trait I have is being called for jury duty. When I moved away to college Limestone County called me several times even after I'd registered to vote in another county. Since living in Mississippi, I've been called 6 times...this most recent for federal jury duty. I have to go to Jackson today to see if I'm going to be picked for the jury. I really hope not because I'm in the smack middle of so many things that putting them on hold for however many days/weeks it takes for this trial to work itself out may be really frustrating.

I've been fussed at by one of my friends for wanting to shirk my civic duty, but I do have to ask if being called for jury duty once a year is typical. And I can't seem to get the picture out of my head of me sitting in the jury box bored out of my skull and wanting nothing more than to run away and scream...

Where did the week go?

It's been a busy week. I can't think of anything major that I've accomplished other than revising and turning in my pre-proposal (a nice step, but not much work). I have gotten my hair done--it looks nice. I took my ring in for re-sizing, ordered and purchased a weaving loom and supplies for my studio, went to book club and hosted sewing group. My friend from California has been here to go to his friend's funeral--she died of leukemia and was about 5 years younger than me. I've also gone through all my quilts and quilting fabric and made a fairly substantial donation to the children's quilts of our local guild. They are working on quilts for children of soldiers deployed to Iraq.

And underneath it all, all I want to do is weave...and I can't, so I bide my time and try to keep myself from itching too bad until the loom gets here sometime around Christmas...

Taking the Plunge

I took the plunge and ordered a 36" 8 shaft, 10 treadle hand weaving loom today! I'm very excited and don't know how I'm ever going to wait the 6-8 weeks it will take to be completed and delivered.

In the meantime here's a picture of my loom during class...it's smaller than the one I'll get, but the same logic.

Vignette #5

Elizabeth comes in from hanging out with her friends and sits on the couch next to me: You know I think you and dad are hypocritical.

Me: You'd better explain yourself or leave.

E: Well, you expect us to get a job but you won't buy us a second car so that we can both get to the job.

Me: Your dad has offered multiple times to drop you off and pick you up whenver you're working and don't have the car. You don't need a second car for that.

E: But getting me a new volkswagon beatle convertible--in green if you want to make it really special--would save you the trouble.

Me: Or you can get a job nearby and walk to it. McAlister's or Gold Post would be really easy. Or, if you want, you can just deal with being dropped off because we're not buying another car.

E: I'll be happy with a USED one if you need it.

Me: This is going nowhere. I'm not buying you a new car. You'll have to deal with things the way they are.

E: But is SO EMBARASSING to have your parents drop you off at your job.

Me: Oh well...

Weaving Class Day #3

I was too excited to tell what I did yesterday...I played with patterns. After warping the loom and getting the warp ready to weave, she told us to play around with different patterns. The bottom half of the picture above was completed on Day #2. I found that I have a significant interest in patterns...so much so that I couldn't sleep last night dreaming up new ways to do patterns!

Today we learned to read weaving drafts, which are like blueprints for weavers. Then we got to play with fibers, or threads. We could pick anything in the shop that was on a cone and weave to our heart's content. I did not do any fancy patterns, this time, but did enjoy getting to feel all the different kinds of threads available.

So, above you have me and my sampler. I absolutely LOVE weaving. I have to go home now and figure out how to make room for a loom and all the weaving accoutrements you need! Donations are accepted :)

WEaving Class Day #2

I'm hooked...

Weaving Class Day #1

Today I

• planned a project
• created my warp
• tied the warp off
• threaded the warp through the reed
• threaded the warp through the heddles
• tied the warp to the back bar
• tied the warp to the front bar

It really was quite a lot of work and whew! I'm tired! Thankfully Janice is making a dinner that smells yummalicious!

I'll have pictures when I get back home as I forgot to bring my cords! yikes!

Vignette #4

E, running in the house and slamming down the car keys—clearly in a tizzy: I’m not ever driving her around anywhere.

A not screaming but clearly high-pitched and distressed: Well, what am I supposed to do when you were about to hit a car? Be silent and get hurt?

E: I wasn’t about to hit a car!

A: Yes you were!

Me: Can we stop screaming please? What’s all this about?

E and A simultaneously: “She yells at me when I drive”
“She doesn’t drive like I do and we almost hit a car.”

Me: Let’s talk about this reasonably—I attempt to do so, doesn’t work, I send them to their room to calm down until they can talk reasonably.

About 10 minutes later:

E: I’m serious, I’m not driving her around.

Me: That’s fine, then you don’t drive.

E: That’s not fair.

Me: Sure it is. It’s my car and I can decide who drives and when. If you won’t share the car then you don’t have the right to drive it.

At this point they start arguing with each other again.

Me breaking in: I will sell the car if the two of you can’t come to some agreement about how you’ll drive and ride together.

A: I won’t complain about how you drive, but I will mention if we’re about to hit another car.

E: That’s fine and I’ll do the same.

And it was over. No other mention, no more upset feelings, no anger…just over.

Vacation Pictures

As promised, pictures from our vacation...

Aaah, Vacation

David and I had so much relaxation on our vacation that coming home as been rather shocking...not because anything is bad, but because we can't spend our days as we did on the beach...and we really enjoyed ourselves at the beach. I should have a pic or two up on the blog in a few days.

In a nutshell we:

• played lots of games: monopoly, dominoes, backgammon and battleship
• put together a 1000 piece puzzle
• read 2 books a piece
• talked
• went out to dinner
• walked on the beach once--but it was too windy to really do much else
• drove around looking at all the new construction...did you know that for only $3,000,000 you can buy a 5500 square foot condo?
• slept late
• shopped
• met our friends in Mobile for lunch on our way home.

Can't wait to get back!

A Happy Couple

This happy couple is about to take a bona fide business retreat. We are both much in need of some serious downtime. So, until Thursday next week, I'm at the beach!

The Tunnel

David and I have started walking daily on our local rails-to-trails bike and walking trail. It's not always lovely considering that south Mississippi is probably always the most humid in the morning, but it is nice to have a destination and then be required to come back. I can't wimp out and say "I'm too tired or hot or whatever to continue." About 3/4 mile into the walk there is a tunnel that goes under a busy street. It's a fairly long tunnel--probably 20 yards or more--and it' actually dark inside, and cool and all the other wonderful things you want when you're hot and sweaty.

This week we upped our mileage to three miles and when I see that tunnel on our return trip--about 2 1/4 miles, remember, I'm thinking..."there's the tunnel and I can see the light at the end of it."

And metaphorically that's where I am today. I completed my first draft of a 133 page report. It was a grueling couple of weeks, but I'm proud of it tonight. When I look at it on the other side of the tunnel tomorrow, it may not be so pretty, but today I'm happy...very happy actually...so happy that I could just fall asleep on the couch and not move until I get up to do my 3 mile walk tomorrow morning...

...and I can honestly say that I think I'm looking forward to the beach even more than I thought possible!

And btw, this is a picture of a tunnel in Ireland which, though it doesn't look exactly like our tunnel, reminds me of it somehow...

Busy...

Been busy lately, that's why I've been incommunicado...I think if I were to actually go back and look, I've been working 10-12 hours every day for the past two weeks. The big crunch is over on Friday, thank goodness...then David and I be here for 4.5 days.

One Happy Girl, Part II

Elizabeth got her driver's license today!

Sheer Joy

I bought this amazingly soft fuzzy blanket in Ireland 3 years ago, and Lochi tried to eat it, so I had to put it away. I got it out yesterday to warm my cool feet, and she immediately hopped on, laid down, and got comfy. She's barely moved since (and luckly isn't trying to eat it).

When I was a little girl...

...I liked to organize things. I could entertain myself for hours playing with simple things like buttons and organizing and reorganizing them according to whatever whim happened to come across my mind at the time: color, shape, material, number of holes, etc. I organized the cans of food in the cabinets, the dishes, my clothes, my mom's clothes.

One of my favorite things to do was let things in my room get really really messy so I could clean it up. I would organize my light bright pegs by color. I kept them in old egg cartons. I had a process by which I organized the colors. First I would throw them all on the floor and mix them up really good, then I would create a design of my choosing on the entire light bright board. Then I would take the upper left-most colored peg and have that as my "base". I would then take all the other pegs on the board of the same color and start switching them with the ones next to the base color so that they lined up left to right and up and down. I would continue doing this until all the colors were organized. Then I would remove the pegs by color and put them in the egg cartons. I could be amused by this activity all afternoon.

Upon reflection I'm kind of surprised that I was never suspected as being mildly autistic.

Book Review: Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather

Normally I would wait to give the book review for book club until the day we meet, but I'm afraid I can't curb my enthusiasm for 2 more weeks.

I loved this book--for the 3rd time reading it. I wrote two papers about this book, and a couple of others by Cather, in graduate school. Cather is one of the truly good American writers. You almost get the feeling of reading poetry in her prose, every word is so carefully chosen and every sentence of meticulously constructed. Yet, her writing isn't difficult to read or understand and flows off the page almost in a dream like way.

Death Comes for the Archbishop is the story of two priests who go to "tame" the diocese of New Mexico. Their charge is to build churches and missions throughout the region and to bring the Catholic faith to the Native Americans. The story is based on the real lives of Fathers Lamy (Latour) and Machebeuf (Vaillant) and traces them from their arrival as young men to their deaths as old men. Vaillant is by far the more aggressive and hands on missionary, but Latour is more reflective and spiritual. His acceptance of the native faith and appreciation for the giving nature of the Mexicans impresses the reader.

Told in a vignette style, we meet the many faces and facets of life as a priest in the "wild west": The rich landowners, the native spirituality and unrest, the lawless man, the spiritual woman, the giving mother, the repentent sinner. They are all there. Nature provides the backdrop fo growth and development of all the characters as well as the church which seems to be the central theme for Father Latour--build the church and establish a permanence in the region.

Death Comes for the Archbishop is one of my favorite Cather books. I love her writing style as well as her character development. Her love of space and landscape and how it impacts the people involved is unparalleled.

Death Comes for the Archbishop--In Pictures

I'll do a review next week on Death Comes for the Archbishop, but today I wanted to post pictures from my trip to Santa Fe in December. When I read Death Comes for the Archbishop the first time, I wanted so badly to go to Santa Fe for the express purpose of seeing the cathedral. I did that and found it to be every bit as Cather described it--austere yet beautiful, spiritual, and very Catholic. I loved the style of paintings inside as they are endemic of the time and place that the cathedral was built. The book is based on the lives of Fathers Lamy and Machebeuf (Latour and Vaillant) as they carve out a space for the Catholic church among the Mexican and Native populations of the area.

When you get what you want...

Sometimes we go around desiring something so bad we can hardly stand it. We know how we'd act, what life would be like, and how much we would enjoy it. And then sometimes, it happens and we don't know what to do with it.

For instance, yesterday afternoon, I found myself blissfully alone. The kids came home after school, went to a friend's house and David wasn't due back from a meeting until later that evening. I had several hours, my main work for the day was done...and I didn't know what to do. I fretted, visited the same web-sites over and over again, avoided reading my book, didn't want to watch tv, was bored with my computer game. In essense, I was alone and quiet--and I didn't like it.

Crazy.

I think one of the problems with yesterday was that I wasn't prepared to be alone. I'd completed all my work so that I could be available for the kids when they got home, but once I found out that they weren't goin to be home, I didn't have anything to occupy myself. This is something that David and I have discussed several times regarding our life after they graduate from high school. We spend an awful lot of time and energy parenting them, discussing them, hoping that things will work out ok, and once they're gone, what are we going to fill that time with?

It's something that we both want very badly...I don't want us to fret, be bored, or wonder what our lives were about. I want us to thrive, to be excited, to turn the page on the new chapter in our lives and say "wow...we've got something special here." I hope we can manage not to crumble over the next couple of years of stress, and to wake up on the other side, and be so tired and careworn that we don't bother to do what it takes to thrive. That would definitely be crazy.

Moonrise

I saw a beautiful moonrise on my way home from dinner tonight. The moon, big as the eastern sky was rising above the pine trees, light light yellow with soft blue undertones. I had to try really hard not to have a wreck it was so beautiful.

Unfortunately, my camera did poor justice to this amazing site, so I don't have pictures, just those in my mind. Keep an eye out for the moon, folks, you may get a surprise on your way home, too!

When I was a little girl...

...or more like a teenager, I decided to go on a diet. My plan was to lose 20 pounds very quickly so I dieted, exercised and gave up soft drinks. The giving up soft drinks was actually pretty easy and something I'd already done and lost a few pounds, but the dieting was very hard. There was a menu, and it was very sparse, and tasteless and really not very encouraging to a young girl who decided she needed to shed a few pounds.

The exercise, as always, was difficult, but I tried and managed to fit it into my afternoon activities. By giving up my afternoon television and running around the house, I was able to get some exercise in, and start to feel good about the fact that I thought I would starve to death before all this weight was off.

One Saturday I was running and mom was walking, and my brothers were hauling hay into the barn. I saw this cool looking stick on the ground and went to stomp it and it wiggled away, turned to face me and scared the devil out of me. I somehow managed to jump up from trying to stomp down and got back and away from the snake as it rounded on me. I froze staring at a baby copperhead and hollered at my brothers to come help, and they, having seen the whole exchange, laughed at me and didn't come help. Mom, who was rounding the carport, saw what was going on, managed to grab a hoe that was sitting on the porch and came over and chopped that baby snake to a million pieces. It was disgusting and fascinating at the same time...

And somehow I lost my verve for exercise that day (and for many thereafter)...

Book Review: Blue Shoes and Happiness by Alexander McCall Smith

After a long string of mediocre or uninspiring books, it was such a joy to read Blue Shoes and Happiness by Alexander McCall Smith. I save these books for when I'm in such a rut because I know that they will be wonderful and I'll be able to linger and enjoy them and feel good about reading again. I'll be motivated and excited about reading again. I knew I'd want to pick up my next book right away. Somehow these books reenergize me.

In this installment we have Mma Romatswe solving a blackmailing mystery, she tackles a physician who is committing fraud against his patients, she confronts voodoo, deals with the fact that her traditionally built figure is causing problems. All they while there is an underlying tension between her and Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni. Mma Makutsi deals with feminism and her new fiance and Mr. Polopetsi practices being an assistant to the assistant detective Makutsi...and somehow those apprentices seem to be growing up.

As in his other books, Smith addresses the issues of the traditional Botswana ways and how they are being taken over by newer more modern ways that are eating away at a civilized and logical way of addressing the world. Mma Romatswe as the central figure, always helps everyone see how they have been attracted to shiny inconsequential things and need to be more focused on what is important. I love the way she is able to feel anger or frustration and then think through whether it is worth the energy--and usually it isn't. However, when necessary she confronts people gone bad and manages to help them come around--sometimes. There are those that are "uncurable"--People who are evil--and those she realizes she has to stop.

Smith did a good job of setting up the next book. I'm looking forward to finding out what this tension is between Mma Romatswe and Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni. I can't wait to see how Mma Makutsi's love of pretty shoes develops and how her relationship with Mr. Phuti goes. I'm also looking forward to seeing more of the children as well as the apprenticeships. Was the outburst from Charlie really an expression of his burgeoning maturity. I'm so glad that book #8 is published and on my shelf so I can read it immediately when I'm next in a slump.

Can someone help me please...

I need some serious help understanding the logic and mind of teenagers. I'm honestly at a loss, but think that if I could make some sense...I might be able to cope...or work within the system to help move things along safely...or something like that.

But, really, I know I'm asking for the moon to be served up on a silver platter. Still it would sure be nice going to bed at night knowing where things stand, where I stand, and what to expect of the day tomorrow.

And Betty, I understand a conversation we had years ago at a quilt bee at the lake house. You were threading a needle and I asked you what your boys were up to (after spending much time expounding on the delights of my adorable twin babies) and you said something to the effect, "I don't want to talk about it...I'll volunteer information when I can, but it's just too difficult. They aren't as cute as your little ones. One day you'll understand."

I get it. ugh!

TOO cool...

I love these sunglasses. Enough that I spent my entire Sept. allowance on them...they're prescription, though, so do aid in the driving!

Diet and Exercise...

Everyone knows that to lose weight all it takes it to watch what you eat and exercise. Why is something that is really so simply, so difficult to carry out?

Is it because I'm so stressed in my daily life? Because that's certainly true, and it certainly takes away the energy I need to focus on eating more healthy and finding time to exercise?

Is it because I'm busy? Related to question #1, busy-ness certainly is a factor in diet and exercise working...you have to have time to go to the grocery store, to develop a menu of food that is healthy and fairly easy to prepare (remember time is a problem), you have to have time to prepare all this wonderful food. When I worked hard on the Dr. Phil weight-loss plan, I had such a hard time with preparation...and since I don't really like to cook all that much...

Is it because I have some really bad habits that are extremely hard to break? I LOVE sweet food. I could eat nothing but sweets all the time, with the occasional "real" food break somewhere in there. I also love to snack while I work on the computer, and to drink coca cola.

Is it because I, at my heart, hate to exercise? I don't mind moving around and doing stuff. Walking all over Europe did not even once make me say "I hate this exercise!" But I hate going to the gym and doing the same task repeatedly. It bores me to tears and makes me feel like tearing my eyeballs out. While I don't mind walking, there really isn't a good place to walk in our neighborhood--sidewalks are scarce and those that are there are really bumpy or littered with pine cones and other debris.

Is it because somewhere along the way I've learned to love myself for who I am and my size doesn't really bother me? Sure, it's irritating to get on planes and not fit comfortably, but for the most part, I don't notice that I'm big. I have cute clothes, I don't have aches and pains, and don't feel ugly or unworthy. My self-esteem, while a good thing, seems to keep me from being overly motivated to lose weight--or to make the sacrifices I need to to lose weight.

Is it because I don't have any major health issues and haven't felt strongly compelled to lose weight in fear that I'm going to die?

Whatever the reason for my struggle, I really do want to lose weight. I want to go to Europe next year and hike around in the mountains and not feel winded after 2 minutes. I want to shop in regular sized clothing stores. The options are so much more than what I have currently...I could spend some serious money on a new wardrobe. I want to get into an airplane seat and fit comfortably--or as comfortably as one can in such a cramped space.

But all this want doesn't seem to help in my daily battle to choose healthy food that I think tastes bland and boring. It doesn't motivate me to get up in the morning to exercise. It doesn't motivate me to tackle my sweet addiction and cut them out totally again.

In case you can't tell, I had a bad week last week--over all, not just in relation to my eating and exercise. I gained a pound, which isn't really all that bad, and I'm not really all that bummed about it (expected it to be worse actually). I am bummed that I can't seem to do what seems to be so simple and just get myself on track to lose weight and be much thinner next summer so when I go to Europe I'm in shape, healthy and can handle all the hiking to all the wonderful mountain views I have the option of...must get on track!

Under the Tuscan Sun

I've been diligently reading Under the Tuscan Sun when I get a chance, but it has honestly bored me. It's not a bad book by any stretch of the imagination. Reading about Mayes's responses to Italy and the difficulty of living in another culture is very interesting...just not for very many pages in a row.

So while I don't abandon it, it isn't my main book to read right now. Finally I'm going to get to read Blue Shoes and Happiness...and it did indeed make me very happy last night as I laughed out loud and had to read sentences to David. I love this series by Smith.

It's progress...

I lost 2 pounds this week. Tomorrow will be back to the gym and hopefully I'll see another 2 pounds next week!