Death Comes for the Archbishop--In Pictures

I'll do a review next week on Death Comes for the Archbishop, but today I wanted to post pictures from my trip to Santa Fe in December. When I read Death Comes for the Archbishop the first time, I wanted so badly to go to Santa Fe for the express purpose of seeing the cathedral. I did that and found it to be every bit as Cather described it--austere yet beautiful, spiritual, and very Catholic. I loved the style of paintings inside as they are endemic of the time and place that the cathedral was built. The book is based on the lives of Fathers Lamy and Machebeuf (Latour and Vaillant) as they carve out a space for the Catholic church among the Mexican and Native populations of the area.

When you get what you want...

Sometimes we go around desiring something so bad we can hardly stand it. We know how we'd act, what life would be like, and how much we would enjoy it. And then sometimes, it happens and we don't know what to do with it.

For instance, yesterday afternoon, I found myself blissfully alone. The kids came home after school, went to a friend's house and David wasn't due back from a meeting until later that evening. I had several hours, my main work for the day was done...and I didn't know what to do. I fretted, visited the same web-sites over and over again, avoided reading my book, didn't want to watch tv, was bored with my computer game. In essense, I was alone and quiet--and I didn't like it.

Crazy.

I think one of the problems with yesterday was that I wasn't prepared to be alone. I'd completed all my work so that I could be available for the kids when they got home, but once I found out that they weren't goin to be home, I didn't have anything to occupy myself. This is something that David and I have discussed several times regarding our life after they graduate from high school. We spend an awful lot of time and energy parenting them, discussing them, hoping that things will work out ok, and once they're gone, what are we going to fill that time with?

It's something that we both want very badly...I don't want us to fret, be bored, or wonder what our lives were about. I want us to thrive, to be excited, to turn the page on the new chapter in our lives and say "wow...we've got something special here." I hope we can manage not to crumble over the next couple of years of stress, and to wake up on the other side, and be so tired and careworn that we don't bother to do what it takes to thrive. That would definitely be crazy.

Moonrise

I saw a beautiful moonrise on my way home from dinner tonight. The moon, big as the eastern sky was rising above the pine trees, light light yellow with soft blue undertones. I had to try really hard not to have a wreck it was so beautiful.

Unfortunately, my camera did poor justice to this amazing site, so I don't have pictures, just those in my mind. Keep an eye out for the moon, folks, you may get a surprise on your way home, too!

When I was a little girl...

...or more like a teenager, I decided to go on a diet. My plan was to lose 20 pounds very quickly so I dieted, exercised and gave up soft drinks. The giving up soft drinks was actually pretty easy and something I'd already done and lost a few pounds, but the dieting was very hard. There was a menu, and it was very sparse, and tasteless and really not very encouraging to a young girl who decided she needed to shed a few pounds.

The exercise, as always, was difficult, but I tried and managed to fit it into my afternoon activities. By giving up my afternoon television and running around the house, I was able to get some exercise in, and start to feel good about the fact that I thought I would starve to death before all this weight was off.

One Saturday I was running and mom was walking, and my brothers were hauling hay into the barn. I saw this cool looking stick on the ground and went to stomp it and it wiggled away, turned to face me and scared the devil out of me. I somehow managed to jump up from trying to stomp down and got back and away from the snake as it rounded on me. I froze staring at a baby copperhead and hollered at my brothers to come help, and they, having seen the whole exchange, laughed at me and didn't come help. Mom, who was rounding the carport, saw what was going on, managed to grab a hoe that was sitting on the porch and came over and chopped that baby snake to a million pieces. It was disgusting and fascinating at the same time...

And somehow I lost my verve for exercise that day (and for many thereafter)...

Book Review: Blue Shoes and Happiness by Alexander McCall Smith

After a long string of mediocre or uninspiring books, it was such a joy to read Blue Shoes and Happiness by Alexander McCall Smith. I save these books for when I'm in such a rut because I know that they will be wonderful and I'll be able to linger and enjoy them and feel good about reading again. I'll be motivated and excited about reading again. I knew I'd want to pick up my next book right away. Somehow these books reenergize me.

In this installment we have Mma Romatswe solving a blackmailing mystery, she tackles a physician who is committing fraud against his patients, she confronts voodoo, deals with the fact that her traditionally built figure is causing problems. All they while there is an underlying tension between her and Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni. Mma Makutsi deals with feminism and her new fiance and Mr. Polopetsi practices being an assistant to the assistant detective Makutsi...and somehow those apprentices seem to be growing up.

As in his other books, Smith addresses the issues of the traditional Botswana ways and how they are being taken over by newer more modern ways that are eating away at a civilized and logical way of addressing the world. Mma Romatswe as the central figure, always helps everyone see how they have been attracted to shiny inconsequential things and need to be more focused on what is important. I love the way she is able to feel anger or frustration and then think through whether it is worth the energy--and usually it isn't. However, when necessary she confronts people gone bad and manages to help them come around--sometimes. There are those that are "uncurable"--People who are evil--and those she realizes she has to stop.

Smith did a good job of setting up the next book. I'm looking forward to finding out what this tension is between Mma Romatswe and Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni. I can't wait to see how Mma Makutsi's love of pretty shoes develops and how her relationship with Mr. Phuti goes. I'm also looking forward to seeing more of the children as well as the apprenticeships. Was the outburst from Charlie really an expression of his burgeoning maturity. I'm so glad that book #8 is published and on my shelf so I can read it immediately when I'm next in a slump.

Can someone help me please...

I need some serious help understanding the logic and mind of teenagers. I'm honestly at a loss, but think that if I could make some sense...I might be able to cope...or work within the system to help move things along safely...or something like that.

But, really, I know I'm asking for the moon to be served up on a silver platter. Still it would sure be nice going to bed at night knowing where things stand, where I stand, and what to expect of the day tomorrow.

And Betty, I understand a conversation we had years ago at a quilt bee at the lake house. You were threading a needle and I asked you what your boys were up to (after spending much time expounding on the delights of my adorable twin babies) and you said something to the effect, "I don't want to talk about it...I'll volunteer information when I can, but it's just too difficult. They aren't as cute as your little ones. One day you'll understand."

I get it. ugh!

TOO cool...

I love these sunglasses. Enough that I spent my entire Sept. allowance on them...they're prescription, though, so do aid in the driving!

Diet and Exercise...

Everyone knows that to lose weight all it takes it to watch what you eat and exercise. Why is something that is really so simply, so difficult to carry out?

Is it because I'm so stressed in my daily life? Because that's certainly true, and it certainly takes away the energy I need to focus on eating more healthy and finding time to exercise?

Is it because I'm busy? Related to question #1, busy-ness certainly is a factor in diet and exercise working...you have to have time to go to the grocery store, to develop a menu of food that is healthy and fairly easy to prepare (remember time is a problem), you have to have time to prepare all this wonderful food. When I worked hard on the Dr. Phil weight-loss plan, I had such a hard time with preparation...and since I don't really like to cook all that much...

Is it because I have some really bad habits that are extremely hard to break? I LOVE sweet food. I could eat nothing but sweets all the time, with the occasional "real" food break somewhere in there. I also love to snack while I work on the computer, and to drink coca cola.

Is it because I, at my heart, hate to exercise? I don't mind moving around and doing stuff. Walking all over Europe did not even once make me say "I hate this exercise!" But I hate going to the gym and doing the same task repeatedly. It bores me to tears and makes me feel like tearing my eyeballs out. While I don't mind walking, there really isn't a good place to walk in our neighborhood--sidewalks are scarce and those that are there are really bumpy or littered with pine cones and other debris.

Is it because somewhere along the way I've learned to love myself for who I am and my size doesn't really bother me? Sure, it's irritating to get on planes and not fit comfortably, but for the most part, I don't notice that I'm big. I have cute clothes, I don't have aches and pains, and don't feel ugly or unworthy. My self-esteem, while a good thing, seems to keep me from being overly motivated to lose weight--or to make the sacrifices I need to to lose weight.

Is it because I don't have any major health issues and haven't felt strongly compelled to lose weight in fear that I'm going to die?

Whatever the reason for my struggle, I really do want to lose weight. I want to go to Europe next year and hike around in the mountains and not feel winded after 2 minutes. I want to shop in regular sized clothing stores. The options are so much more than what I have currently...I could spend some serious money on a new wardrobe. I want to get into an airplane seat and fit comfortably--or as comfortably as one can in such a cramped space.

But all this want doesn't seem to help in my daily battle to choose healthy food that I think tastes bland and boring. It doesn't motivate me to get up in the morning to exercise. It doesn't motivate me to tackle my sweet addiction and cut them out totally again.

In case you can't tell, I had a bad week last week--over all, not just in relation to my eating and exercise. I gained a pound, which isn't really all that bad, and I'm not really all that bummed about it (expected it to be worse actually). I am bummed that I can't seem to do what seems to be so simple and just get myself on track to lose weight and be much thinner next summer so when I go to Europe I'm in shape, healthy and can handle all the hiking to all the wonderful mountain views I have the option of...must get on track!

Under the Tuscan Sun

I've been diligently reading Under the Tuscan Sun when I get a chance, but it has honestly bored me. It's not a bad book by any stretch of the imagination. Reading about Mayes's responses to Italy and the difficulty of living in another culture is very interesting...just not for very many pages in a row.

So while I don't abandon it, it isn't my main book to read right now. Finally I'm going to get to read Blue Shoes and Happiness...and it did indeed make me very happy last night as I laughed out loud and had to read sentences to David. I love this series by Smith.

It's progress...

I lost 2 pounds this week. Tomorrow will be back to the gym and hopefully I'll see another 2 pounds next week!