Only a few days until Christmas...

And I'm in a bad mood. Both David and the girls are driving me nuts, I have an 8 day trip to look forward to, most of which will be spent in the car with the three people who are driving me nuts.

And I was going to write a witty blog about one of my favorite past-Christmases, but I can't seem to get in the mood to do that--maybe tomorrow.

And my shoulder hurts!

And Betty, the Cat with Fireflies is a needlepoint that will be a wall-hanging when I get it framed--it's about 11x18 or so. I bought it when you bought your mermaid!

Cat with Fireflies

Needlepiont with wool yarn. Design by Chris Roberts-Antieu.

See #6 Below

16 things I love about being married to David

1. He supports and encourages me in any crazy idea I come up with.
2. He loves my art.
3. He reads books I like just so we can talk about them.
4. He drives me to work most days.
5. He leaves me notes in my lunch or on the computer where he knows I'll find them.
6. He sends me flowers.
7. He plays with my hair and give me goosebumps...
8. He is all about 100% cooperation with the kids.
9. He cooks.
10. He can't sing to save his life, but he sings anyway.
11. Everything he does, he does with verve.
12. He drives everywhere we go.
13. He listens to my music and even learns to like some of it.
14. He encourages me when I'm struggling.
15. He plays games with me and sometimes lets me win.
16. He loves me unconditionally.

Happy Anniversary David!

Last Night

Last night I was up until midnight finishing a paper that's due today. Never since my second semester in graduate school at TAMU (1994) have I waited so late to finish a paper. I kind of felt guilty about it, even...but it's not due until 5pm today, I have a very solid draft that I need to edit and e-mail in...so it's not really all that bad.

Except for the fact that I'm now 37 years old and staying up until midnight writing a paper leaves you with an "almost hangover" the next day. That's not fun.

BUT I can say I'll never do it again and mean it because this is the last class I'll ever take! yeah! Dissertation here I come!!!!!

Why is It?

Why is it that when you're good and rip-roaring mad at someone, they go and get sick so you can't yell at them?

On a lighter note...have paper due tomorrow and must go write it. Hopefully things will be better tomorrow.

Book Review: Abundance: A Novel of Marie Antoinette by Sena Jeter Naslund

Abundance is a first person account of Marie Antoinette's life and is so perfectly cast from inside her head that I almost believed her. The letters her mother wrote, the stories she was "fighting" against, and the horror of the revolution cast doubt on her veracity, but as a reader you still want to believer her. And even though I knew the ending of the story, I think I was as shocked as she was that she was executed.

The novel starts with Marie Antoinette leaving home and recreating herself as the Dauphine of France. Her youthful exuberance and her desire to be loved is enchanting, as she herself seems to be, but she fails to arouse her husband which almost dooms her new life from the beginning.

As Marie Antoinette tries to negotiate the foreign world she finds herself in, she grows more cynical and tries to find enjoyment from other areas of life—through gambling, lovers, friends, the arts, and finally her children. She is cast by the public in a horrible light and has to explain again and again to her mother that the stories about her are just rumors.

As Louis’s indecisiveness and her lack of awareness of the horrors going on around her continue to mount, Marie Antoinette’s life as royalty comes to an abrupt end with the storming of the Bastille. The way Naslund portrays Marie Antoinette’s life as an imprisoned monarch very convincingly demonstrates her attempts to maintain the fairy tale life she had created for herself. During these three years, or so, she never loses hope that she will get back home to Austria until the very end when she is sentenced to be executed.

for the love of old friends

My friend visited this weekend. We met in grad school in Kentucky but he's now teaching at a university in Washington state. We haven't seen each other in five years and have communicated with the scarcity of people who have ridiculously busy schedules. He is also a very good friend with David, so the three of us had quite a wonderful time.

One thing that I think is really neat about seeing old friends who you really connect with is that moment when you see each other and get past the "it's so good to see you how long has it been" moment to the moment where you are talking like you haven't been apart--just talking like you always did about things that are interesting and fun to you. If we had the "how long has it been moment" I don't remember it. It's like he walked in and we started talking about our observations on life and it was fun.

I'll miss him now that he's going home. I won't miss being so tired, but I'll miss seeing him and chatting! It's hard to keep in touch as much as would make me happy, but it makes me feel good knowing that when we get together again we'll start a conversation about the latest book we've read or make observations about our waiter that makes my eyes water I'm laughing so hard...fun, good times!

Christmas Cards

I'm one of those funny people who LOVE getting Christmas cards. I check through the mail every day looking for some, but so far, I've only gotten one Christmas card this year. And I know part of the reason is that I haven't sent mine out. I've been so busy and stressed that I haven't had the opportunity to enjoy the thought of writing everyone's address on an envelope and thinking about what they've been up to since I last heard from them. It's a nice reflection on the bounty of my life and my friends and colleagues. It makes me feel good and happy.

Until a few years ago, I would always send my cards out the day after Thanksgiving. Aunt Betty would always tell me that mine was the first she received, but then one of her friends started sending hers before me and I wasn't first anymore, and then I got crazy and didn't manage to get my cards out. I'm two weeks late this year, and I still don't have stamps.

I have always wondered, though, why some people don't send cards until they get them. I fear if I did that I wouldn't get any, and then I'd have all these boxes of cards that I bought to send to everyone I know and love, just waiting. Probably some anxiety born out of teenage misery (if I don't share my makeup, they won't like me).

The Birdie has left the nest

I resigned my position yesterday and will go fully independent beginning in January 2007. How scary and exciting and wonderful all at the same time. So, hopefully like the baby bird in my earlier post (August 2), I'll begin flitting and flying around now that I've been knocked off the fence!

One Happy Family

This is the photo that would have gone in my Christmas cards had all of my head been in it. Still it is a good picture of the family and one I wanted to share.

Where is the line?

I have a really great job. I get to do something I'm pretty good at (write grants) while working with really smart people as they do something they're really good at (research projects). I get paid well for this region, my boss is very nice and not even sort of a micro-manager...even so, I'm getting to the point where I'm about to say "this is enough."

When I started the job, I agreed to publish the college's newsletter. I collected ideas, wrote most of the stories, took pictures, talked with people and put together a fairly decent newsletter. I was expecting to continue to put this together until I got too busy to do so...what happened instead is that I got volunteered to put together articles for any other publication the university does and wants to spotlight our college or departments herein. I've also been volunteered to assist all the departments (there are 13 of them) in redesigning their brochures. When it became evident that I didn't have the least bit of sense about actually using any designing software, the departments went elsewhere. (and yes, I'm still coordinating the newsletter)

Then two years ago, my dean decided to put on an invention competition. Again, I was asked to coordinate. Was in fact, told that if I needed a student worker, that I could have one (never did come to fruition, my suspicion is that the finance person stopped it from going through the channels).

So, the first day of the week after the month where I spent my time writing, revising, and helping finalize 15 grants (not lying here), where I worked two weekends in a row and came back from Thanksgiving to an office in such a mess that I couldn't find most of the new things I need to start working on, I get a new directive from my dean: I will be assisting the finance person for the college by taking over the research grant accounts, etc., that she handles. We bring in over $40 million dollars, probably submit upwards of 1000 grants per year. I have no idea how I'm supposed to do this, the other three "non-job" related activities, PLUS my job.

The line may be here and I may be looking at it right in front of my toes...and I may be ready to cross it.

Sort of feels like I imagine it would before you take that step off of the bungee jumping platform. I say I would never ever in my whole entire life ever bungee jump...but crossing this line feels like something I would do. I'm just going to get over being mad before I do it!

A Red and Silver Christmas Tree

You Dumped WHAT on my Car?

Yesterday I went to Ocean Springs and Gulfport (the sites of two of our campuses) to meet with faculty about proposals they are or will be working on. I also had lunch with the program director of my evaluation contract. Ordinarily that wouldn't be interesting enough to put into a blog, but I experienced news-making traffic. Now, I know this is Biloxi, but I WAS in the middle of it, and it was news-making traffic.

I left Ocean Springs and went up to the Interestate because the Biloxi Bay bridge is gone from Hurricane Katrina and probably won't be opened until at least 2 years. So, what was once a 2 mile drive across the bay is now a 25 mile drive, in traffic. So, I get on the interstate and am cruising at decent speed, when I come up over a hill and realize that traffic is stopped. I sat and sat and sat. Then realized we weren't moving and probably wouldn't for a while. I called my lunch appiontment and told her I'd be a while. It took almost an hour of creeping and crawling to move about 3 miles.

As I'm sitting in traffice more and more police cars are driving along the side to get to the accident. I thought "maybe they'll be directing traffic and moving us along soon. " I had the thought that maybe someone was trying to jump off the bridge ahead...Then I saw the "hazmat" truck and got worried--chemical or oil spill? Then, if you'll believe it, when I finally get to the scene, there is dirt, or what looks like it, all over the place. I followed the trail with my eyes and saw that a dump truck was indeed pulled over on the side of the highway, apparently having lost his load. I figured it must have caused an accident from all of the glass and car parts still on the freeway but there weren't any full cars there.

When I get to the Gulfport campus, I looked on line to see if there was a traffic advicement at least--there were two. The first said that there was a 2-car accident on the Biloxi River Bridge that would have traffic backed up until noon. The second said that there was a report of...well, just read it for yourself...

So, I sat in traffic for over an hour yesterday because of a sewage spill (that's what I make of the miscommunication in the paper...there couldn't have been a sewage "backup" on the Biloxi River Bridge because it's a pretty big bridge over a pretty big river that has boat traffic...). And now my lower back is in a muscle spasm from that horrible driving experience...I'm just glad I wasn't the person who got the "surprise" load dumped on me. How horrible!

Back to the Salt Mines

At least I'll be working a mroe reasonable expectation in the next few weeks. I have stuff to do, thank goodness (I do hate being bored) but it won't be insane like it was last month...and for that I am utterly thankful.

Speaking of being thankful, last week, I took off after Monday when my big grant was due. I thought I'd update you on my vacation--most of which was spent being totally lazy!

• I took the girls to see Marie Antoinette and then to eat lunch at Chili's. The movie was just ok...it was a weird mix of historical artsy film and "catch the teens and 20 somethings by loud music and Kirstin Dunst."
• I finished To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.
• I ate Thanksgiving dinner with my family--which was just so-so, everything besides the turkey was really good, but the turkey was awful.
• I watched SEVERAL games of college ball on tv. Loved seeing my Aggies win.
• We put up our Christmas tree--it's very pretty...red and silver this year, though I discovered I was low on silver ornaments. Have ordered some and hope to have them up soon.
• Went to my birthday dinner with the family. I had a rib-eye with steak and scallops. It was quite yummy.
• I went shopping for Christmas presents--I only had to buy two this year, and I'm DONE!
• I slept until at least 9am every day.
• I solved the mystery of the non-delivered birthday flowers. For some reason they were delivered to my office, so we came to get them on Sat. afternoon. Then last night I sat up with my kitty who had decided to eat one of the lilies, much to her stomach's distress!
• I started a new book, Abundance by Sena Jeter Naslund. It's about Marie Antoinette and SO much more interesting than the movie was.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday. I missed seeing my family!

Other things I am Thankful For...

• A wonderful Birthday!
• The Aggies beating the HELL out of t.u.
• The best husband in the world!

I am thankful for...

A trip to Europe that has motivated me to exercise and diet. I've lost 7 pounds so far!

I am thankful for...

A $5000 smile! (she got her braces off yesterday)

One Thing I Am Thankful For...

A cat who expresses my feelings exactly...

home stretch

My big grant is due Monday and there is still a LOT to do...I'm going to try to get it all done, and hopefully my creativity and love of life will return!

Then I can talk about what I'm thankful for...

Sugar Addiction

In June I came to terms that I have a full-blown addiction to sugar. I realized then that the only way I was going to be able to control my sugar intake was to never have it again. Like an alcoholic or a drug addict, I "abuse" sugar after just the smallest attempt at keeping measures sane. I'll go to lengths to hide the addiction--only eating stuff I buy from the vending machine and not telling David. A little bit is never enough. I read in an article about Keith Urban's alcoholism recently that another country singer (name I can't recall) who was also an alcoholic said, "One drink is too much and a 1000 is not enough." That's how I feel about sugar. In my time I could eat a piece of cake for dinner...it would have to be a large piece of cake, but I could eat it and feel satisfied that I'd had food for dinner. I could also rationalize some sugar intake--it wasn't much, or it was only this one time, or a single cookie isn't all that bad. I also realized this time that "fake" sweets are "gateway drugs" for me and will lead me back to eating the real stuff simply because they taste good but not quite good enough.

I say all of this to justify that sugar can really be an abused substance. The main problem is that it is available everywhere you go. In the cafeteria there's a whole section devoted to desserts. Grocery stores have multiple aisles with sweets on them in all shapes and sizes. We love our Starbucks specailty coffee drinks, which are really glorified syrups with caffeine. Whereas an alcoholic can begin to gain control over their addiction by not going to liquor stores or bars, a sugar addict cannot simply quit living, hide out at home and hope no one stops by with a birthday cake or holiday pie. At our office, we celebrate every little ordeal with a bakery cake. For most people, this isn't a problem. They have their piece and then take some home to the family, but I know if I have one itsy little bitty bite it will send me into a spiral...So, just like I can have several glasses of wine on Friday night and not have any more for a month and not think about it or miss it, some people can eat a piece of cake and then not want anything else sweet again or think about it.

I can also look back over my life and see that this has always been a problem for me. I am glad that I've finally gotten control over it--almost 6 months now I've been sugar free and I intend to stay that way for the next 60+ years of my life.

But, when I mention to people that I don't eat sweets, they always say "why not" with that tone that says "I can't believe anyone would give this up!" And I reply that I have an addiction that I can't control, and they always look at me askance. For some reason, it seems more "justified" to be addicted to something that will completely and utterly destroy your life and those around you, but to be addicted to something that "just" makes you fat and grumpy is silly. I guess there needs to be an awareness campaign or something. Maybe something along the lines of the "tobacco kills"...we could say "sugar kills...slowly...but it kills."

Book Review: Queen of Swords by Sara Donati

Queen of Swords, the 5th installment in Donati’s “Into the Wilderness” Series, continues the cliffhanger from the 4th. It stays focused on Hannah, Luke and Jennet and their struggle to first regain Luke and Jennet’s baby and then to get out of New Orleans during the middle of the Battle for New Orleans in 1814.

I enjoyed this book. In fact, I’ve enjoyed all of the books in the series. Revisiting the characters is like going to a family reunion, only one in which I control the time (that I read!), if not the events. I did miss Elizabeth and wanted more of her story—especially since she has the baby “predicted” in book 4. However, I do understand Donati’s need to focus on these three characters as they grow up and develop into adults. I enjoyed getting to know them better, especially the friendship that develops between Jennet and Hannah.

My two concerns with the book are definitely making me think through some pre-conceived notions I have had. First, I would think that after Hannah’s ordeal that she would have to experience more turmoil to recover, the same with Jennet who is kidnapped for a year. However, other than a few minor outbursts of emotion, they seem to be getting along fine and adjusting to the life and what it has thrown at them. I have to think through whether I find this good or not.

The second issue I have is the portrayal of southern slave owners, especially in apparent disregard for the fact that slavery was a national issue up to the early 1800s. With the exception of the Livingstons, all of the slave owners are horrible, horrible people. What makes the owning of slaves such a difficult issue is that combined with the owning of humans for labor and the moral issues that go along with that, the owners were also humans who could be compassionate, loving and nice. They were not all depraved all of the time. The complexity of this human-ness is one of the things I find missing in Queen of Swords, and something that Donati usually does very well. I can’t remember a “stock” character in any of her other books (and I’ve read them all now except for Homestead which is in my library to be read soon), but her slave owners felt very much to me like Simon Legree from Harriet Beecher Stowe’s Uncle Tom’s Cabin. (And please note that I’m not saying there weren’t horrible people like that in the South, because we wouldn’t have the stories we have if there weren’t, but they weren’t all gambling drunks who rape, beat and otherwise mutilate their slaves.)

I did enjoy this book and highly recommend it to anyone who enjoys Donati’s or Lippi’s work, or a good historical romance that isn't afraid to challenge your suppositions and make you think about the issues of the day while weaving a good story on top of it. She is a very good writer who manages to get the details right. You love her characters and want to get to know them better. When I’m reading one of her books, I think about it when I'm not reading, which really encourages me to get back to it, and I’m always rewarded when I do!

Books

I love books. I love reading and holding books and seeing them stacked neatly in my library (or anyone's library for that matter). I love books so much, in fact, that I thought once about switching careers and becoming a librarian. But then I discovered that librarian-ism really isn't about books as much as it's about keeping things in order, and I would end up being one of those cranky librarians who was always upset because someone put the book they were browsing in the wrong place.

In her comment last week, Betty asked how many books have I read, 1000? Well, that got me to thinking because I have absolutely no idea. I know that I have over 300 books that I want to buy someday and read, and about 100 already bought and waiting impatiently to be read. There are approximately 600 books in our library right now. About 2/3 of those are "mine" though others have read them, but I was the one who bought them or read them first. So, that's 400.

I figure that I read probably 10 books for every literature class I took. If you include undergraduate and graduate classes, then there were probably 20 classes, or 200 books, some of which may have been repeats, and some are sitting in my library, so I'll be conservative and say 150 books read for study. That brings the total to approximately 550.

When I was taking my PhD comps in English, I had to read 200 books and articles, approximately half were books, and approximately half of those were new, so we'll say 50 extras there. The total is now at 600.

I've read plenty of books in my life that I don't still own, or borrowed from the library or friends. We'll put that total at around 5 books a year for my adult life, 15 years, which is another 75 books, and makes the new total around 675.

This number does not include (and won't for reasons I'll get to in a minute) academic or research books I've read as part of my education PhD. I think I'm comfortable with saying that in my adult life I've read approximately 700 books.

I don't want to count things I read in high school or before simply because the books weren't as "big" and I wouldn't be able to remember most of them now anyway. I read ALL the time when I was growing up. I had a book that I carried to class with me so that I would have something to keep me going when I was finished with class work. I loved and read almost every single Sweet Valley High installment up until I was a junior in high school. I was a huge fan of Judy Bloom and devoured anything she wrote.

I also don't want to count things I've read as part of my PhD in education becasue I would never pick those books up and read them for anything other than work--and I don't count reading done at work in the same category as reading done for pleasure.

Which brings me to the second part of Betty's question. I find time to read because it's how I relax. I do not watch TV except for 1 show per week. Right now I try to catch a few college football games, but other than that, my tv viewing is pretty limited. I think I read for the same reasons that a lot of people watch tv--to relax, escape the realities of my life, and get some mental stimulation that doesn't require super-heavy analysis.

I am surprised many days that I survived so long as a literature student. Not that I don't love literature, because I do, but because it required me to WORK while reading and took away my reading for pleasure time...

And right now I would rather be at home finishing the last 20 pages of the book I started last weekend and read straight all day Saturday!

Why Stress is Bad for You

1. You forget things very easily.
2. You feel tired all the time.
3. You don't sleep well (which is probably why you feel tired all the time).
4. Your muscles tense up in your neck and back making you feel uncomfortable.
5. You're grumpy, often without realizing it.
6. You don't think clearly and make stupid mistakes as a result.
7. You have weird dreams.
8. You crave food that is awful for you.
9. It causes high blood pressure.
10. It clouds your judgment.

Do I Belong?

And do I even want to belong? (Sometimes I can be too rebellious in my desire to be accepted and liked. )

Last night at book club no one liked the book. And I loved it. It's one of my favorite books ever. I have promised to read anything that Gabaldon publishes because I love her work so much. I think her writing is smart and witty. I love her characters and the crazy situations they get themselves into and out of.

And normally if I'm the only one who likes or doesn't like the book, I don't really care. The way I see reading now is that it's a recreational thing. If I don't like a book I'm not going to waste my time reading it when there are so many other books I want to read. Not to mention that I feel like I paid my dues in grad school reading all manner of books that I didn't like--and not only reading them, but having to discuss in rigorous detail what the author intended by a certain turn on phrase, etc, and then having to write massive papers about that one little thing that supposedly no one but me has ever really noticed about that book.

But last night I took the rejection of "my" book personally (and it wasn't even my suggestion, just one that I had recommended to another bookclub member and she wanted us to read it...only she wasn't there). Especially when we started discussing the new books we want to put on our reading list--and none, not one single one, of their books was I even remotely interested in. Not to put down books about overcoming adversity, but I'm just not in a place in my life where reading those kinds of books is something I can do. I don't need something depressing me when I have enough struggle just trying to get two teenagers grown up enough to handle the life that's going to come at them in a couple of years.

I began to feel like I don't belong to this group of women who I have really come to love and enjoy their company. I love going to bookclub and discussing all manner of interesting topics--whether they're relating to the book or not. And it made me a little sad.

Book Club Book Review: Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

If you like big books, historical fiction, romance, novels about Scotland, strong women, adventure, time travel, mystery, or even a little witchcraft/medicine, I think you'll enjoy Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. This first installment in a saga that spans (so far) approximately 35 years between 1740-1776 is just about as perfect as a big book with all those elements listed above can be.

So, what's the basic plot you ask? That's more difficult to answer than you might think but I'll give it a try. Clare, 20th century nurse just finishing up with WWII, is "honeymooning" with her husband Frank Randall in Scotland when she "falls" into a time travel portal and finds herself in the middle of a cattle raid/skirmish in 1740-ish. She is rescued from the hands of the knave, Jack Randall (Frank's ancestor), by another scoundrel, Jamie Fraser. As she travels farther from her escape route (the stone circle she fell through) she is more desperate to get back all the while falling more for Jamie.

Being a healer, though, Clare must help those in need, and becomes known for her powers. Suspected as a witch among many other things, Clare and Jamie have to negotiate the time that she's in (he doesn't know about her time traveling abilities, and when he finds out he doesn't really believe her). The two are continually getting in trouble, being caught and sent to prison, etc., and have to rescue one another.

The reason I am always so reluctant to give a summary of this book is because it sounds like such a silly plot, but really it is very well written, smart, believable, and a terrific consuming read. I have read all 6 installments (the first 5 twice) and can only hope that Gabaldon is writing ferociously to get the 7th out.

I Just LOVE Surprises Part II

Last week I got this package in the mail. It was your regular non-descript brown envelope, only if felt a little heavy to me for the size of the package. I saw that my dear Aunt Betty had sent me something, and that always means it's good, so I ripped into it. Tightly wrapped in tissue paper was my gift, which again, was heavier than I thought possible for the size, so I set it down on my desk to get scissors to cut the paper. When I made my first cut...out popped a BEEautiful orange kitty! See I have proof!

Variations on a Theme

Seems like my life really hasn't changed that much in the past 6 years...Here is a poem I wrote in March 2000, clearly about one of my daughters pitching a fit (and for the record, they were 8 at the time). We've had discussions about who it's about. I think it was A...that would have been typical of her at the time. Now it would be about E.

How Could She?
By Leslie Butler

I refused to look at her
She plopped herself onto the ground
Beginning to cry, but not making any sounds
I didn’t see her lips starting to quiver

She’s now full-length on the floor
Screams coming louder
I don’t see her mouth contorted
In screams and sobs

She begins to kick her feet
Screaming even louder
Still I refuse to look at her
Knowing the snot is oozing down her nose
Probably even dripping into her mouth

As her arms begin to flail
And she screams even louder
I know that her eyes are red and puffy
Tears popping out one at a time at a rapid pace

But then she says
“Mommy please hold me”

And how could I not?
No matter what she did
Then I couldn’t be mad at her
I was and I will
But not then.

Donimoes!

When I stayed with Grandma and Papa T growing up, I played dominoes (only I called it donimoes) with her almost every day. Sometimes Papa would play with me. I got pretty good at playing dominoes and started beating Papa. Being the competitive fellow he was, this was really hard to take, and after a while he quit playing with me.

I had my own dose of being the sore loser this past weekend, and now I understand why Papa quit playing dominoes with me…it simply wasn’t fun. Now, let me preface the rest of this entry with the fact that while I am competitive, I don’t usually mind losing…I may not LIKE it, but I can deal with it if I’m facing a decent competitor and am playing up to my best. Apparently, what I can’t deal with is losing to someone who is a decent competitor OVER and OVER again.

It happened like this. I learned a new game on my Hoyle card games software called Spite and Malice. It works very similarly to two player solitaire with two decks only there are only 4 “ace” spots in the middle, you do not build according to suit, kings are wild and you take turns. You have to empty your “pile” and the first player to do so wins 5 points plus points for the number of cards in the opponent’s pile. It’s fun, I beat the computer on hard every single time I play, so I thought it was time for a more worthy opponent.

Enter David. I taught him Friday after dinner and we played a few hands without taking score. I chalked his beating me to the fact that I wasn’t playing all that competitively (we weren’t taking score after all and he did need to get the basics of the game). However, after playing several hands on Sat., and winning only a couple, I was beginning to feel myself get agitated and aggravated that I wasn’t winning. I even fussed at one point that David was taking too long to decide how to lay out his cards. “It’s just a GAME after all,” I quipped. Even moving much faster, he was still beating me. I felt myself becoming obsessed with winning this stupid game, so I was playing beyond the tiredness of my back.

Sunday we are still playing and I am STILL losing. I can barely stand it! I feel so stupid, but I can’t handle losing this game. We go exercise, I come home starving, we order dinner, I eat, we play, I lose again and this time I realize that I am simply not having fun playing this game…and that’s the point of games after all, right? To have fun. So, I told David that I cannot play Spite and Malice with him anymore. I have officially entered the ranks of “sore loser.”

The Day After Halloween

The day after Halloween has usually meant gorging on candy and talking about your great scares and treats from the night before. When my kids were little it meant looking at their candy bag and trying not to get grossed out. In order to "claim" all of their candy, my girls would open each piece of candy, lick it and then put it in their bag. Thus they ensured that no one would eat their candy. David and I always tried to save some of the good stuff from this abuse...

Until this year, the day after Halloween meant that I had free rein to eat the candy left over from our dirth of trick-or-treaters (we live on a street with mainly older people, so there aren't very many kids). I would try to psyche myself out by buying candy I thought was yucky, but I would usually end up going back to the store for caramels. I absolutely love caramels and will eat them in just about any form or brand.

The day after Halloween usually means that "once the candy is gone I'll get back on my diet" but who can really stick with that considering THanksgiving is less than a month away. This year, I never got off my "no sugar" deal so I'm not having to "get back" on anything.

Those who like to dress up will put their costumes back for another year. They and the rest of us will start stocking up on all of our Christmas stuff that has been in the stores since September, but which none of us really allow ourselves to buy until now. The day after Halloween for me has usually means I start my Christmas shopping, but this year, my family is getting a trip to Europe so there aren't going to be any major Christmas gifts...I have no idea what I'll do with myself until then except work and exercise and try not to eat too much!

Book Review: Delta Wedding by Eudora Welty

Welty has a way with words that is unlike any other American author. Delta Wedding is one of those “typical” Welty books that delivers passages that you have to reread several times because they are so evocative of time, place or spirituality.

DW is set at Shellmound, the Fairchild’s plantation in the Mississippi Delta, aka cotton country. Laura McRaven, a cousin to the Fairchilds’ travels by train from Jackson to Fairchild and is both overwhelmed by her huge family of cousins, aunts and uncles, and lured to be accepted by them. Laura’s mother had recently passed away, and she expects to be treated special as a result. Other than her first greeting by her Aunt Ellen (the matriarch of this enormous family) she is pretty much left to fend for herself. Sometimes this proves too much for her, but by the end of the novel it seems that Laura fits right in with the rest of the Fairchilds.

One theme in particular that I liked about the book is that of the view of the outsider. Laura is an outsider who both wants to be inside and remain outside. She likes her “special-ness” by being an orphan and not being part of the Fairchild clan, but she desperately wants to be part of something grand, and the Fairchilds seem like a good place to start. Ellen, who married Battle Fairchild, is from Virginia and is seen as snooty even though she is thoroughly in love with the people around her. Welty does such a wonderful job of showing someone who is so overwhelmed by her life that she can’t seem to react with enthusiasm—it’s as if she’s a piece of drift wood in the Yazoo River. Then there is Troy Flavin who is the bride groom of the story. Not only is he from another part of Mississippi where there are hills, but he is the overseer for the plantation—he is doubly outside. He looks different than everyone else, too. Unfortunately, we don’t get to see the world from Troy’s perspective other than in the few statements he makes about his mother and her quilting.

I enjoyed reading DW, though I have to admit I wished it were a little shorter. I felt myself being overwhelmed by the huge cast of characters. I still don’t know how many children Battle and Ellen have, and I found myself wondering who some minor characters were upon their reintroduction to the story. That said, Welty has such a talent for a turn of phrase or for the absurd, that I found myself laughing out loud and thoroughly enjoying this book.

Too much!

Too much work to do, not enough of me to do it!

I promise better blogs after tomorrow when things should be calmed down...

A Response to Yesterday's Comments

I never knew Grandma Blackmon, but I can see her talking to herself outside while doing a chore because that's what I would do if I were alone and had some free time to talk to myself. Showers/baths are the best time to talk to yourself because you are usually alone (i.e. no one else in the room or bathroom with you) and you can cover it up, mostly, with the sound of the water and splashing. Clearly not so when I was a kid, but then I didn't think anything of my imaginary friends as being any other than my real friends, only I could control them better.

Another thing I really like to do when alone is sing and dance. When I was growing up I would put on my mom's "At the Hop" records and twirl my baton and pretend I was leading the band through Los Angeles or San Francisco. I was something in my beautiful glittery costume (usually represented by my knit t-shirt and shorts with a scarf wrapped around my neck).

One day--here in MS--David was working late, the girls were at a friends, and I was in my sewing room piecing a new quilt. Life could not have been better. I could talk to myself, sing and dance, and sew! My room is big and has a tile floor, so sliding around and doing the groove thing is really encouraged. I was having so much fun that I did not hear David walk in the door, nor did I notice him standing there watching me until I did a particularly klutzy twirl and stopped facing him and almost died of embarrassment. He told me to carry on, but somehow I simply couldn't.

"Self," I said...

Do you talk to yourself? Outloud? Do you ever leave yourself a voice message to remind yourself to do something you know you'll forget if you don't call? Do you ever e-mail yourself and say "Do X by Monday or else!"

Do you talk to yourself by name? I encourage myself by saying "Ok Leslie, you can handle this problem...just get in there and kick ass." But I don't usually say "Leslie, how are things today?"...but when I think about it, I don't really call most people by their names unless I'm trying to get their attention or make sure that they know I'm talking to them, so I'm not likely to do that with myself.

Do you answer yourself? Ask a question and reply as if you were the "other" person in the conversation? This is usually how I write, btw. I "say" it in my head and my critical reviewer says "that's pretty good, but try it this way" and then I reply "well, I liked this turn of phrase" and then I finally get it right after talking it through--silently of course.)

How do you end these conversations? The girls were laughing at me a few weeks ago when I left a message for myself at work and said "Bye." A conversational convention based on greeting and salutations doesn't work when you're talking to yourself. You can't say "hello self" and have that make sense unless you're schizophrenic...so saying "goodbye" to yourself doesn't really make sense either.

Tired!

So tired today. Did not sleep well last night at all. Please keep those ideas coming for future blogs you'd like to read...for today it will be an explanation of why I'm so tired. Which I know will be funny at some point. (probably about the same time I care that that was a sentence fragment!)

It started about 11:30 when I was falling asleep and heard a car alarm. It eventually went off, so I tried to ignore it and go back to sleep but I had that uneasy feeling you get sometimes, so I went to check things around the house--looking out the front door I saw that our house was wrapped/rolled/tp'd (whatever you call it, it's apparently a Hattiesburg HS homecoming tradition) last night. That annoyed me to no end. I woke David, showed him, and then we both went back to bed where I stewed for a good long time.

Finally went to sleep, woke at 3:30 with the feeling that A snuck on the computer yesterday afternoon (and she would have had to figure out our password in order to do that) so I let my imagination go crazy and had them both leaving the play last night and going around town and wrapping other people's houses and basically being stupid. So, by 5 when I realized I wasn't going to get to sleep unless I had a plan, I got up, checked the computer and saw that A had indeed been on the computer Monday--both her internet history and file properties showed it--and I was PISSED. Then I get back in bed, feeling righteous that I caught her, planned out the conversation we'd have this afternoon and actually started to relax when I realized that today is Wednesday, and Monday would have been two days ago, not yesterday, so she didn't get on the computer illegally, and then I was awake again and kicking myself for being such an ass in my head...

I know I drifted off again somewhere in there because I woke up when David came to tell me it was 7. So, now I'm exhausted after having only about 3 hours of sleep.

Nothing...

...at all going on around here except work and more work. Creativity is kind of murky...any ideas I should write about?

Motivation

Motivation is a funny thing. Sometimes you can't get motivated to do anything and then something will light your fire and suddenly you're working hard! A couple of recent motivators in my family:

• Going to Europe has motivated me to get to the gym--so much so that I went 5 days in a row! I won't go tonight or tomorrow because I have class, but I WILL be there on Wednesday at 4:30. For our itinerary, see Rick Steves Family Europe Tour.
• My children were motivated to clean their room with the promise of a new mattress. It was done within an hour. Amazing considering where they started.

Dream Theme #5: Going back to School

I often dream that I have to go back to Teague High School to pick up some credit that I inadvertently didn't get when I was in high school. Ironically this is usually an ENGLISH class that I missed out on becauseI was in band or something else crazy like that. I argue with the administration telling them that my 2 degrees in English should count for something, but they always make me go back and take this one class.

Dream Theme #4--Getting Married

I ofen dream of getting married--and not always to David. Sometimes I dream about the idea of it--I'll be getting married next week and I have all this stuff to do. Sometimes I dream that I'm walking down the aisle, and I don't know who is at the end of it. Sometimes I'm getting married to someone who is not David and I'm trying to figure out how I tell them that I'm already married and how I tell David that I'm getting married to someone else. Last night I dreamed that I was getting married to someone who was getting married to someone else who was marrying someone who was marrying my husband. It was this totally convoluted process, but we could do this "legally" because marriage was "one-way". I married someone but they didn't necessarily marry me. It was very confusing and I was actually kind of happy to wake up!

Dream Theme #3: Extra Rooms/Perfect House

I have had this dream ever since I can remember. I will go into a door of my house and find that it hides behind it a whole new set of rooms that are perfect. Spacious, airy, light, wonderful. I am so delighted to discover this part of my house/apartment that I never knew existed that I bounce around and look up and down and plan how I'm going to keep it clean and pretty. And the funny thing is that usually during this dream while I'm walking around in wonder, I think to myself, "isn't it a shame that I didn't know this was here until now...how I could have been using these rooms!"

I'm usually a little depressed when I wake up after one of these dreams. I was so full of wonder and hope that coming back to reality--a place where there aren't hidden rooms--is a little sad. Sometimes, though, that little hint of discovery and excitement lingers after I wake up to keep me motivated and excited all day.

Dream Theme #2: Tornadoes

I used to have this dream all the time--just about every night. In its hey-day I might have had two of these dreams a night. Now it's down to about once a month at most.

The basic premis is that I am somewhere away from home and then this huge tornado threatens our building. I am in charge of getting everyone to safety, and I don't always know where that is. The panic and frustration that ensues is usually very scary. Just in time the tornado either dissipates or turns another direction. I have never been hit by the tornado.

Dream Theme #1: Losing Teeth

I have dreamed about losing teeth since I can remember having dreams. In these dreams it may be as simple as losing one tooth--it falls out and I think "oh, no, I've lost a tooth" and keep going with what I was doing--or as horrifying as losing all my teeth one by one, crumbling in my mouth and almost choking me to death. These occur very infrequently but I always wake in a panic that is equivalent to waking to a burning house--full-on body sweats, heart pounding, etc.

These dreams are always terribly realistic. I can feel my tooth in my hands or mouth. I can see everything, smell, talk to people, etc. It usually happens when I'm doing my normal everyday activities, adding to the realism.

About 6 or 7 years ago, though, I started recognizing the dreams for what they were WHILE I was dreaming, and would say things like "geez, I used to dream about these things all the time, and now it's real." Recently when I've had the dream, though, I'll respond by saying "thank goodness this is only a dream because this would really suck." When I can respond that way, the fear and horror of my teeth falling out goes away and I'm able to sleep normally again.

Update

1. Discovery Day was indeed a day of discovery. The kids discovered that dorm rooms are "really small but worth it for the experience of having a bad roommate." David and I discovered that our idea of traveling is opposite of the kids' idea of traveling: impending problem for our trip to Europe this summer.

2. Acting on insight #2 from above, we had a talk with the kids where they discussed what they liked to do in traveling (E shopping and seeing touristy sights, A going with her plan and seeing stuff--touristy and not). Getting lost, driving around to see what's interesting, waking up one morning to discover what we want to do--not on their list (and all that's on our list). So, we were right, and decided on a compromise of Rick Steve's family Europe trip. We'll see most of the places we were going to go anyway, with an added eastern France and Austria. Plus we'll spend the last couple of days there going to the Loire Valley in France and seeing the chateaux. I think we're all looking forward to our trip now--the kids because they'll be more secure and less worried that we'll never find our way out of our lost-ness, David because he won't have to drive all the time, and me becuase I won't have to worry about whether David is tired and what the kids are thinking as they're chewing their fingernails.

3. We paid our 1st three quarters of 2006 taxes yesterday. There is definitely a dis-incentive to working hard and earning extra money.

4. I'm reading Eudora Welty's Delta Wedding. I love Welty a lot, but she slows you down. You feel like you really do have to read every word in order to see all the beauty she sees. I'm loving it--this may be my favorite book of hers yet--but it's slow-going and I probably won't have a book review for another week! I know, shocker when I was chunking them out there at a rate of one or two a week!

5. Last but not least, Saturday on the way home from Starkville, we saw the most beautiful sunset and cloud formations. It had me captivated for almost 2 hours. Unbelievable feathery clouds looking like they were on fire from the sun. Then the clouds formed a bowl above our heads in little puffs of cotton and looked like a flower opening with the sun as its stamen. It was something else.

Dreams next entry...I just felt the urge to update since it was such an insightful weekend.

Discovery Day

Tomorrow my girls and one of their friends will go to Mississippi State's "Discovery Day" where they get to learn about the university and all of its programs and other cool stuff that perspective college students want to know. Their desire to go there has stemmed from the fact that MSU is actually recruiting--sending letters, flyers, announcements and the like. Hopefully they'll come home with a burning desire to do really well in school...

Reproduction Quilt

Book Club Book Review: The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory

I almost did not read The Other Boleyn Girl because I had started reading Wideacre by Gregory and was so offended by the sexual depravity of the main character that I had to put it away. A friend had loaned the book to me, and I tried to return it to her explaining that I just couldn't read it because of the bad experience of the first book. She urged me to keep it and read it anyway because "it really is a good book." So, I started it on the plane on the way home from visiting her, and she was right.

I really enjoyed looking at the relationship of Anne Boleyn and Henry VII from the perspective of a sister, Mary, who is overlooked and mistreated but loved nonetheless. I thought the opening of the book with the beheading was very well-written and certainly takes you to the time and place where simple misdeeds can mean your life.

The family's lack of regard for Mary's desires in her life was sad. I wanted to go smack her parents for basically prostituting their daughter for their own financial and political gain.

My friend's feelings on the book is that Anne's character was a little overdrawn--she was TOO much of everything: beautiful, manipulating, sexual, etc. That didn't bother me, however, because it was clear from Henry's infatuation with her that she would have had to have been TOO much in order to lose her life.

I'm very interested to see what the book club thought of OBG. I enjoyed it enough to stay home an extra day getting over a sinus infection so that I could finish it. I know one other person didn't like it...

The Pinebelt Quilters Quilt Show

To see the local paper's slide show (and audio) of the quilt show this weekend, click this link.

Hope you enjoy. I don't know how long the link will be active, so go soon!

The Weekend

I hope everyone had a good time. I did. It was nice seeing my parents and talking to my nephew who amazes me every time I see him. He's a solid kid--hope he keeps on track.

We went to the Pine Belt Quilters Quilt Show which was really nice. There were some beautiful quilts. I did not take my camera, but trust me that the quilts were gorgeous.

We also played two games of "pocket canasta"...the girls won the first time and we let the boys win the second time :)

Other than that, we talked a lot and ate some yummy food (we'll have chicken wings all week!).

Thanks Mom and Dad, for coming down. We enjoyed your visit!

Musica Fabulosa

When we lived in College Station there was a Spanish radio station called "Musica Fabulosa." My Spanish teacher was the DJ in the evenings and his radio name was "El Maestro Romantico" which roughly translates to "the love teacher" but means something more along the lines of "romance expert." Not only did he play romantic Spanish songs, but he gave relationship advice to callers. It was fun to listen to while I had a mild ability at understanding Spanish.

That's a long introduction to say that I've been driving a lot the past two days and have listened to lots of music. I have two new-ish CDs which I absolutely love: Rascal Flatts's "Me and My Gang" and Pat Green's "Cannonball." Flatts have outdone themselves on their current CD (it's been out since April or May, but it just hit me about 2 weeks ago how GOOD is really is). Not one single song on the album makes you want to fast forward through it; in fact, I've wanted to rewind and listen to many of the songs over and over and over so that I can memorize them and sing along. My favorite (and this is hard to figure out) is "What Hurts the Most" which is actually released on the pop charts, but is a fabulous song, and very difficult to learn to sing. I think my mom would like "Ellsworth, KS, 1948" because it's about a woman who has Alzheimers and is living in 1948 when she was first falling in love. But all of the songs are really wonderful and I can hardly get enough.

I bought Green's CD less than a month ago and I listened to it over and over and over when I first got it. David even asked if we could listen to another CD because he was getting a little tired of it. Again, all of the songs on this CD are really top-notch. Back and forth my CD player went the past two days listening to these songs. It's made some really boring driving more tolerable.

What are y'all listening to these days?

I Just Love Surprises!

Especially when said surprises come totally unexpectedly (thus the surprise part, I guess) from someone who I would never dream would send me a surprise...but I truly enjoyed my African Bush Tea sent to me by Mma Romatswe who was in Wimberley, TX, recently scouting out a messy situtation involving Billy Bob Thornton and some rogue bananas.

So, Thank you Mma Romatswe (or may I call you Precious) for my delicious tea that I enjoyed after my teenagers went to bed. I hope it will help me solve my problems, too!

Book Review: The Song of the Lark by Willa Cather

I love Cather’s work, and The Song of the Lark may be the best one of her books I’ve read yet…Death Come for the Archbishop has been my favorite of her books for so long that I may not be able to supplant it, but SoL is excellent.

The story revolves around the growth of Thea Kronberg into the artist that she is. We begin with her as a child around the age of 10. Her friends are adults and misfits in the town. We don’t hear about her interactions with kids her own age nor really about her being a child at all. What we learn about Thea in the beginning of this book is that it is evident to everyone who knows her that she’s gifted, but no one can agree about what--piano, acting or singing. She knows, but she keeps her secret carefully guarded.

She begins to blossom when she is sent to Chicago to take lessons from a renowned piano instructor. It isn’t until she mentions, almost on accident, that she sings at funerals that her piano teacher discovers her true musical gift—she has a phenomenal “instrument” (as it is often referred). She then switches teachers to a voice instructor and has to play accompaniment to his other lessons in order to pay for her own lessons. She is discovered by a rich cad-about who falls in love with her and worries that she is suffering under the pressures of being an accompanist to her rigid instructor. He sends her to his ranch in Arizona where she “nests” and comes into her art and her self.

The section in Panther Canyon is so well done that I could read it again and again. I finished it feeling the anticipation of what was going to happen to Thea when I turned the next page—was she going to become the artist she was destined to become or would she fail because of some poor decision or accident or simple poverty? Would she be able to accept her gift and learn to live with it, or would she reject it because it could never meet her ideal.

The last section of the book has Thea returning to New York after spending years in Germany discovering her art. She is singing in opera after opera—a different one every night it seems. She is different characters in different voice ranges and truly shows her artistic abilities both in acting and singing. The critics and public are impressed with her, and her old friends are as well. We finally get her reunion with her early friends, and they sit back and watch as the Artist Becomes.

SoL is such a beautiful book. There were passages that I want to keep in my mind forever. Sections of such perfectly written prose evoking such perfectly poignant thoughts that it drives home the images and reality that Cather was trying to create. I wish I knew more about opera so I could understand more of the symbolism of Thea’s different characters, but even so I can “get it” that she’s done something amazing in the end.

What does it take?

What does it take to wake us up? Three school shootings in a week have left six girls, one principal, and two sick gunmen dead. Communities across our nation traumatized as a result.

Last year, our new superintendent proposed a fence surrounding the Hattiesburg High School because of several fights resulting from drop outs returning to campus and stirring up trouble. The fence would limit access, and, of course, exits; it would symbolize to those teenagers "prison" and further infringements on what they perceive as their freedoms. But adults are usually willing to overlook teenagers' complaints about such things becuase they "know best." However, the neighborhood surrounding the school did not want the fence because it would block one block of a street that they like to use so that they can avoid Hardy Street, a main thoroughfare in Hattiesburg. Convenience in travel is more important than the safety of our children.

Shame on us for listening to this argument! Shame on us for not doing everything in our power to protect our children from bullies that are too weak or sick to handle their own problems so they take them out on people that are defenseless!

General Update

I feel like nothing is going on in my life, but really, there are lots of things to update, so today's entry will serve as a "news" day:

• Oliver Kitty is doing fine after his surgery. He no longer flinches when we rub our hands down his back. He looks awfully funny with a big patch of fur shaved on his backside, but the incision is very clean and is healing nicely.
• I've been basically sugar-free for 4 months now. What that means for me is that I do not have anything that looks like dessert even if IT is sugar free (jello, pudding, ice cream, etc. will inspire me to desire Godiva). It's been tough, because most days I long for a piece of cake or cookies. But, I'm doing fine because it's easy to make a decision--can I have that slice of cheesecake that is calling my name? no? Well, that sucks, but it's better for me that way. I will eat jelly in my biscuits, scones from Starbucks, and things like that, but nothing that has more than 20 grams of sugar per serving.
• The party this weekend was a lot of fun. We had about 20-25 people show up, most of whom stayed for about 2-3 hours. It was loud, people were laughing, a big portion of our wine, beer, and food were consumed, so I know it must have been fun! I know I had a great time, though hosting a party puts pressure on you to keep moving around and making sure everyone is happy and enjoying themselves even when you are really enjoying this conversation you're having. No one played games, so I've learned that maybe that's not something to put out. One really cool thing is that one of our attendees is the person who lived in the house 2 people before we moved in (we bought it from her dad who had rented it to someone else after she graduated from high school). She was in awe at how different the place looked. Seeing her face made all the trouble and expense we've been to painting and renovating worthwhile!
• E is grounded for two weeks. Things went downhill while cleaning up on Friday afternoon, and she ended up throwing a box of kleenexes at me (though she claims she just threw them...didn't intend for it to be in my direction...).
• My parents are coming to visit next weekend--yeah!

I think that's all my news. If I come up with something else, I'll add it!

Our Kitty

Oliver has had to go to the vet today for possible surgery. He has a bump on his back near his tail that is really painful if we touch it. Because it is painful, he hasn't been cleaning that area and it's pretty gross looking. And because they will possibly need to put him under to perform the surgery, we had to put up his food last night at 8pm. He was a very unhappy kitty this morning.

In fact, he and Lochi thought we were very stupid humans this morning since we were CLEARLY not seeing that the food was gone and that they were very distressed about it. Both of their pupils were very large, and they were sitting on the mat we put their food on top of meowing like they were going to die. It was actually pretty funny.

So, hopefully the painful bump on Oliver's back will simply be a cyst and not something more serious. He's been very playful and cute and not acting at all like he's unwell, so we're keeping our fingers crossed!

*******

Update: Oliver is doing fine. Out of surgery and the growth has been removed. They will send it for biopsy just in case it's cancer, but the vet doesn't think it is. He's been groomed and should be pretty and soft for the evening!

Party Girl!

Sorry about being out of touch the last two days. Tuesday I was sick and yesterday I just couldn't think.

On a more fun note, we're having a party on Saturday. I've always loved having parties. In grad school in KY we would host one everyone every Friday. It was easier for us to host since we had the kiddoes and could simply put them to bed when they got tired. No one else seemed to mind. I would plan the whole thing--we would decide on a theme and then I would assign people which food items to bring. We even had one "couple" who had to do the dishes and clean up afterwards--they didn't have to bring food of course.

But this weekend's party isn't like those grad student parties. For beginners we invited just about everyone we knew, not just those we like. We are supplying all the food and drinks, and there isn't a theme. A number of people keep asking what the occasion is--there is no occasion, we just wanted to have a party! And at this party, the kiddoes will be working instead of just being cute and then going off to their room at 10:30. Although I suspect most people will be gone by 10:30...we are older after all.

I'll have a report, and maybe some pictures on Monday.

Creativity Kaput

Was up until 3am with a terrible stomach ache. I just got down a bowl of soup and hope that it doesn't go crazy on me. Hopefully will be able to write tomorrow!

They Amaze Me...

The "they" here of course being my teenagers. Last Wed. night at bookclub one of the women in our group was talking about her daughter (15) who has Cystic Fibrosis and mentioned that she had had to go on homebound because going to school all day was simply too tiring. When asked what we could do to help, she said, "if any of you know any teen girls who could be her friends, that would be so nice because she doesn't have any outside contact these days." To which I replied, "well, I have two, let me see if they'll be interested."

So, over dinner Thursday night, I brought up the situation, explained to them that the girl is very ill (she's in the final stages of getting her "make a wish" planned) and would they like to go over to her house and keep her company a couple of days a week and be her friend. They so willingly and heartfully jumped on the opportunity that my own heart filled up with pride about how genuine and caring they have grown to be. I even threw in the "she may not live through the year and if she dies and you've become her friend it will break your heart." To which THEY replied, "If I can help make her happy, I'll take the risk."

They've been talking about this non-stop ever since to everyone they meet. They simply cannot wait to meet their new friend. It looks like they'll finally have the opportunity this weekend.

Why I love Fall

A BEE Purse

It really is! A BEE purse. I just may have to save my allowance and get one of these things. How cute is this!

Bookclub Book Review: The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

I absolutely loved this book when I read it three years ago. I picked it up when I was doing a good bit of traveling, having read a review and thinking that it was either going to be a very good book or a very dorky book…it was definitely the former.

The premis of the book revolves around Henry who has a genetic mutation which causes him to spontaneously travel backward or forward in time—the main catch being that when he travels, he arrives naked. This is the part of the review that when I read it, I thought—now that sounds dorky. But it’s such a pivotal fact of Henry’s life, that he has to train extensively so that he’s not arrested for public indecency. He never knows how long he’ll be somewhere and he has no control over when and where it happens.

To make the story even more interesting, a love story is added between Henry and Clare. When Henry and Clare first meet, Claire is a young girl and Henry is a middle-aged man. In “real time” they are only a few years apart, however, but Clare’s experience of their love life together is very different than Henry’s, having met him and gotten to know him long before he does her.

The narrative format is what makes the books for me, though. It is not linear and is told in alternating points of view, so we get both Henry’s and Clare’s perspective on the developing relationships. Even though the story is disjointed it moves along and progresses so that you see the love story, the development of the characters, and the agonies they endure in trying to live with this disability, if you will. It’s also a narrative that bested me at my own game. I usually read ahead a few pages when I’m finished with my reading session to keep me interested and also to give me some relief in very tight narrative spots. There was no relief of that kind while reading this book because the disjointed narrative just opened up new nodes of the story that I wasn’t prepared for. So, there were many restless nights and days when I couldn’t wait to get back to this novel.

I truly hope that Niffenegger has another novel in her. I so thoroughly enjoyed this book, and am excited that my bookclub read it because I’ll be able to talk to several of my friends about it.

Living on Credit Sucks

Three weeks ago Elizabeth agreed to mow the yard so that David would take her and her friends to and from the mall. Our usual agreement is that if they go somewhere with their friends and need a ride, we'll take them one way and their friends' parents will take them the other.

Well, the very next day she comes down with a cold (real cold, not fake) and didn't mow the yard that weekend. Then the next weekend it was something else that kept her from mowing the yard, and last weekend, she was busy watching TV or something along those lines. And every afternoon after school, Gilmore Girls is on and she can't miss one single minute of that show.

So, yesterday, when she wanted a ride home from the gym, David reminded her that she still owed him a yard mowing. She begged, she pleaded, she tried to mope and pout, but nothing changed David's mind, so A went to the gym and E stayed home where she said she was going to get "fat and illiterate."

As we were talking to her before bedtime last night she said that living on credit sucks. I told her that it doubly sucks because not only did she not get to go to the gym tonight, but the yard is going to be really hard to mow now that it's waited at least a month AND that in that time, the yard could have been mowed again so she would have earned the money she would normally have gotten paid.

I saw understanding there. I hope it sticks!

Book Review: The Three Incestuous Sisters by Audrey Niffenegger

The Three Incestuous Sisters is a novel in pictures by Audrey Niffenegger, author of The Time Travelers Wife (which I will review on Wednesday). The basic story line is about three sisters who become jealous over a young lover who chooses Bettine, the beautiful, yellow-haired sister, to be his lover.

The story in words isn't much more than that--the fall out of jealousy and passion, but the story in pictures is so much more than that. The pictures are done in aqua tints, which Niffenegger describes as a very difficult and archaic medium with which to work. She doesn't know exactly how the picture will turn out until it's printed--which has to be exciting.

I bought this book because I loved Time Traveler's Wife so much. TTW was an intriguing book and was written while Niffenegger was in "writer's block" on TTIS. The 14 years it took to get TTIS completed was worth it, especially when you consider the "bonus" of TTW.

Book Review: Full Cupboard of Life by Alexander McCall Smith

In the 5th installment of the No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency series, Alexander McCall Smith does not disappoint. I enjoyed this book so much, I stayed up well past my bedtime to read it. This series is so delightful, that I’m trying to get everyone I know to read it! If you haven’t start it today!

In this installment, Mma Makutsi, the secretary, assistant manager, and assistant director as well as typing instructor, is doing so much better financially that she is able to move to a much better area of town. In this chapter of the book there is a beautiful description of Mma Makutsi bathing at the shared tap that really brought home to me the utter poverty in which Mma Makutsi lived in order to supply money for her family “back home.” She really matured in this book and I hope to see some wonderful stories about her in the future.

In fact, Precious almost took back seat in this book. Her stories are not as big or detailed, but they are important. Hired by a rich woman to discover the real reason behind her suitors’ interest in her, Precious begin investigating them individually. She has issues with letting her personal opinions get in the way, however, and is shocked by a revelation at the end of the book. I think much of Precious’s problem with this assignment is her own lengthy engagement to Mr. J.L.B. Matekoni. The surprise ending to the book, puts everything together for Precious, though, and leaves the reader waiting impatiently for the next book.

Finally, the story surrounding Mr. J.L. B. Matekoni is humorous and sweet. He is pressured into agreeing to consider a parachute jump by the ever-more-involved head of the orphan home, Mma Potokwane (sp?). The older apprentice ends up taking over the arduous task and enjoying himself very much.

Lots of allegory and allusion in this book, but it’s all subtle and understated. Again, the love of country, landscape and simple way of life pervades the main characters’ actions and thoughts. I did find myself at times having trouble following whose point of view the story line was following, but for the most part that was minor. I enjoyed this book as much as the others and am impatiently biding my time to get to #6.

Mahi Mahi Burger

In 1993 David and I traveled to Hawaii. On this trip, we went to Hana, Hawaii. If you've never traveled this road, it does indeed look much like the cartoon map on the web-site linked above. Fifty-two miles of the most harrowing road I've ever been on--and once you get there you have to drive it back.

But, much encouraged by the locals we talked to, we decided to take the trip. We had a little mustang convertible which was cute, fast and perfect for an all-day drive in paradise, so out we headed on Sunday morning for a tiny little village that thrives on tourists.

Our first mistake was that we were in Hawaii on a very cut-rate package because people just weren't traveling over there at that time of year (mid-May). Our second mistake was to go on Sunday. Our third was to not pack lunch. Our fourth mistake was to assume that the fast little mustang would make much of a difference on this road, where if you drove over 30 miles an hour you'd careen into a cliff or canyon and never be seen again.

It was indeed some of the most beautiful picturesque landscape I've ever seen. I can still close my eyes and see some of the bays we drove around with sheer dropping cliffs and rainforests all around. We have pictures of elephant ear plants that were bigger than me. It was truly inspiring and awesome.

So, we get to Hana, tired and hungry and ready for a romp around this little town, only to find out that every restaurant was closed except for this one little road-side hut-thing where you ordered your dinner through the window and sat on picnic benches to eat. While this wouldn't ordinarily be a problem, I do tend to sunburn very easily, we were really ready for some air conditioning and some quiet (we were both beginning to feel a little green around the gills from the drive), and well, I have a thing about ordering fish out of a "hut."

Standing in line and trying not to be too grumpy, we weren't talking much, so we got to over hear the "surfer dude" in front of us ordering his lunch (and please read this in your best imitation of stoned surfer dude that you can conjure): "I want a mahi-mahi burger, man, without the mahi-mahi, man." The cashier replied, "Huh?" So the surfer said, "You know, man, I want a mahi-mahi burger without the mahi-mahi." He paused to judge comprehension and seeing that the cashier was still really confused he went on... "Look, dude, I want the mahi-mahi burger without the mahi-mahi. I want the lettuce, the tomato, and sauce and the bun, but I don't want the mahi-mahi, man."

Finally the cashier got it and told the surfer that she couldn't charge him less for the sandwich just because he didn't want the fish. And he replied, "That's fine, dude. I don't eat anything that was alive once, man." He got his sandwich and walked on. I don't know where he ended up or what he did after that.

While David and I were refueling with whatever lunch we ordered, we talked and laughed about the mahi-mahi man, and to this day, something will trigger the memory in us and we'll look at each other and simultaneously say "I want the mahi-mahi burger without the mahi-mahi man" and make ourselves giggle.

I Have Attitude!

OK...just a little background before getting into this story:

• first, I take classes for my PhD in Higher Education Research two nights a week--last night was one of those nights;
• second, we usually eat dinner as a family most nights of the weeks;
• third, we are having to retrain our daughters how to be polite at the dinner table--this may include burping, farting and other rude behaviors that they should have left behind (pardon the pun) in 2nd grade;
• fourth, my daughters seem to have forgotten that germs are transmitted through hands, mouths and air;
• fifth, my daughters are teenagers which means they have sudden outbursts; and
• sixth, we "debrief" said daughters every evening to help keep in check the tantrums and we'll give them up to two points on a chart for good behavior and after they've earned 80 points, they earn $100 to use to a large purchase or save for trips, etc.

*****Now, on to the story. *******

We sat down to a dinner of quesadillas (which were mighty good, I might add) and E was late in getting to dinner. After we called her twice, she showed up, put a quesadilla on her plate and started to eat. At this point she said, "my stomach's hurting, and I don't think I want to eat anything."

I replied, "that's fine, you can stay at the table if you feel like it, otherwise, go to your room and rest."

She said, "I'm not sick, just have a stomach ache." (at which point my adult logic said, HUH, but then thought she must be referring to feminine issues so let it drop).

Then she picked up the two quesadilla wedges that she hadn't eaten yet and threw them back on the plate with all of the other quesadilla wedges not yet eaten. I said, "No, no! Don't do that. If you're getting sick, I don't want your germs on my food."

To which she yelled, "I'M NOT SICK!!!"

So, we dealt with the yelling and I went to class. David debriefed her that night and told her that I had talked to him before I left and that I did not like her yelling at me and wanted one of her points deducted for getting nasty.

To which she replied, "Well, mom had an attitude, and I needed to set her straight."

The Simples Pleasures of a Box

Log Cabin

Log Cabin Quilt machine pieced in 2000-2001. Completed piecing before I moved to Mississippi. It's made up of light and dark materials from my stash in one inch logs. It is set in a diamond pattern. I really wanted to do a barn raising set, but realized after I thought I was finished that I would need another row across and down and just couldn't fathom making that many more blocks. It is about 125" square. I had it hand quilted by an Amish Quilt shop this year.

Book Review: Shield of Three Lions by Pamela Kaufman

This was a very good book. I enjoyed it from the first sentence to the last, and that isn’t usual for me. The story isn’t all that demanding, in a “try to pull all the pieces together” but it is enjoyable, funny, serious, scary, thoughtful, and interesting.

The main character, 11-year-old Alix/Alex sneaks away from her home, Wanthwaite, with her friend to see the traveling players on the day that her castle is sacked and her parents and all their knights are killed. The lone survivors of the sack are her wolf, Lance, who was locked in a storage shed, and the cook who was hiding in an underground tunnel. The rest of the novel is Alix/Alex’s adventures to get the land back.

In order to do so, she must dress as a boy for her protection and mobility. This allows her to travel unchaperoned, though she does happen upon a protector, Enoch a wily Scot, who sticks with her throughout the novel. She expects to meet King Henry in London only to find out he has recently died, so she must then figure a way to get to King Richard on his crusade to Jerusalem. She manages to do that, and the king is so taken with the boy Alex that she is made a page and the king personally agrees to be her protector and provide her land upon her majority.

The tension in the novel resides between Alix and Enoch, who also wants Wanthwaite. The two are constantly parlaying to gain access to the land, and this tension resides up until the very end of the novel. There are some really great, comic moments between these two characters due to the fact that Alix doesn’t really know anything about being a boy but must rely on her intelligence and wits to get her through. Her innocence also allows for some misunderstandings to take place—some of which aren’t funny because they cause problems as Alix acts inappropriately and causes danger for herself or others as a result.

STL is the first in a trilogy about the character Alix and her love of her property and the experiences she must go through to keep and maintain her inheritance. In a time when women are seen as chattel and have few, if any, legal recourses, this is a rather daunting task, but the Alix is strong. I cannot wait to see what happens in the next two books!

Ye Olde Thornton Memorie

David is always amazed at how I can remember things--fairly vividly--that happened a long time ago. This is made more amazing by the fact that I can read some books twice and not even realize it or mis-remember huge important plot devices or characters. (Sometimes I even misplace characters in the wrong books, but I think that's more my overactive imagination rather than a bad memory.) And movies are the worst because I've forgotten what happened by the time I walk out of the theater or turned off the DVD player.

But if it is an event that I lived through I will remember in fairly good detail what happened, where I was, what I was doing, what month and year it was, etc. David thinks that is a trait of the Thornton family--which he calls our elephant memory.

I think he's right in that my grandmother remembers dates unlike any other person I've ever met. I remember as a kid that she could state within a second exactly how long she had been married. Betty tells stories of Grandma remembering people's anniversaries and birthdays that she had met only one time.

So, I thought I would share a little about how that memory works. I can usually place myself time and date wise fairly quickly. For instance, if you were to ask me what I was doing in April 1998, I would think through this way: I moved to Kentucky in June 1996, so April 1998 was in my second year of being in KY. I was teaching composition 2 (my second time to teach that class at UK) to my class of 7 Matts, 4 Michaels and 5 Jennifers (no kidding). I think, too, that was the month I went to my first academic conference in South Carolina with an old professor from TAMU. The girls were 6 years old and still at Alpine Village School. We were living in the little house on Eagle Creek. This was around the time the ducks were eating my flowers--and I know that because it was my first spring at the house and we were going to be gardeners despite the fact that neither David nor I have the patience or talent to garden. I couldn't even begin to tell you what I was reading because I was reading so much for classes. I do, however, remember spending a lot of time at the campus bookstore--probably because it was on my way to my car and there were so many books I wanted to read and couldn't, so I went to the bookstore to ogle them. Also, this was the summer before my serious bout with the hives brought about by my stressing over the exams that I thought were upcoming.

I personally don't think this recall is anything special. I'm also really uncomfortable that I've gotten a good bit of it wrong, so, loyal readers, tell me, can you remember general information about what you were doing in April 1998?

Eliot, the Cat

Three years ago, one week to the day before my grandfather passed away, my Russian Blue cat, Eliot, died of liver and kidney failure. We're not sure what happened with him. The vet said he had fatty liver disease, something that attacks over-weight cats when they stop eating for whatever reason. My question all along was "why did he stop eating to begin with?" Clearly there was something other than that wrong with him. The vet never satisfactorily answered that question, and now we have a new vet.

Oliver, my orange tabby with a swirly side (his stripes don't go down his side, but instead swirl into a bulls-eye), loved being the only cat for a few weeks, and then he started getting a little depressed, and started sleeping all the time. One evening, David and the girls were gone and I was sitting in the living room sewing when Oliver burst through the cat door that goes to the screened in porch and meowed at me like his life depended on my response, then he bolted out the door again. I thought to myself, "that was strange, but it's nice to see him up and around again." Then he burst through the door again and meowed and then ran out one more time. I laughed at his unorthodox behavior and continued sewing.

More quickly this time, Oliver ran back in, came over to my chair and meowed and meowed at me. I finally "got it" that he wanted me to go outside, so I did, and sitting outside our screened in porch door was a grey long-hair scraggly looking cat who looked at me and meowed--in exactly the same voice as our recently departed Eliot.

Oliver looked at me as if to say "see...he's back and you didn't listen to me when I told you that he was out here THREE times! Now, go get him so I can fight with him again." I went out the door and sat on the ground and this strange cat eventually came over to me and let me pet him, but when I stood up he ran off. He showed back up the next afternoon, so I could show him to David who thought it was really funny that a gray cat who meows just like our old cat would show up just weeks after that one died. We named him Eliot, though we hardly ever got to pet him.

Then one day Eliot was gone and I figured he had gone the way of most stray cats and perished under a car or in the jaws of a dog. But about a month later he showed up again, with a healing gash on his side--not dead but clearly having gone through a pretty serious ordeal. And also clear was the fact that someone was taking care of him even though he hung out in our yard almost all day and night. Last summer he brought a new kitten around and they played in our yard all the time. This summer he's sporting a new red collar.

Eliot still hangs out and torments our indoor kitties. Here is a picture of him sleeping on the wall that goes along our alley-way. I still don't get to pet him very much, but for whatever reason he just loves hanging out in our yard despite the fact that we've never fed him and clearly someone else does!

Sugar Free--3 Months!

I'm so excited and proud that I'm still going strong in my desire to stay away from sweets. It's not easy every day, but it's easy more days than not.

There are always two

In my house there are always two of everything. I remember when I was pregnant Auntie J sent me a card that had a poem about twins and it said something to the effect that you'll always have two/double of everything. So, when there is one quilt made, another one can't be far behind. While I don't stress about getting quilts finished in general, I do when I'm making them for the girls because they want to SEE them finished and NOW and whoever is first is impatient that it takes so long to get the second one made and whoever is second is impatient that they were put in last place.

E was in last place this time. This quilt is hearts that are fused to a sheet--originally it was a king-sized sheet. Each heart is hand satin stitched all the way around, which is why the quilt is not on a king-sized sheet today! I couldn't finish it. So I cut the hearts into blocks, added the sashing strips and border. It will easily fit a double bed. This is the very first quilt I ever started and actually finished. I told E that she has a very special quilt because there can be only one "first" quilt.

Organizing

I've spent a lot of time organizing my house lately. I think that has a lot to do with the contractor that I'm spending a lot of money on and his junk that is strewn everywhere throughout my house and yard...really he's a neat person and does a very good job of containing his stuff, but it's STILL there.

Anyway, two weekends ago we organized two closets, I would like to get to a third this weekend. I could get real pleasure for going into the girls' room and throwing away a bunch of stuff--like the bag of scrap material that I had intended to drop off at the Children's Quilt group at the quilt guild in town that A has for some reason confiscated and won't give up: It's just holding court in the corner by her door. The library counter top by the back door is so junky that I don't worry about burglers coming in and stealing my purse anymore because I don't think they could find it. SOMETHING needs to be done.

Being organized makes me feel good. I like knowing that my wine is in three rows--white, red and "party" (you know, the cheaper but decent stuff that you'll serve at parties). Being organized saves on waste. For instance, when we cleaned the closet in our bedroom, we found that we had 5, yes 5, bottles of deodorant and no toothpaste. You have more room for more stuff and you can STILL find it all--it's great actually, a wonderful way to live.

When my stuff is in its place, I feel like I can breathe deeply and enjoy things around me better. I feel like I have control over something and that's nice, too.

One Year Ago Today

Hurricane Katrina hit the gulf coast one year ago today. Here is basically how our day went. We woke up around 8:00 when the rain and wind started, and about 8:3o the power went out--and the water with it. This is how we were at that time:

By 10am the winds were over 100 mph, with gusts well over 125 and this is how we were:

Trees were falling

And the rain and wind were howling

Houses washed away on the gulf coast

Power lines were ripped down

Houses were smashed

And we started cleaning up

And it's been a really hard year.

The Price of Gasoline

Like the weather, the price of gasoline seems to be an infinitely useful conversation starter. I remember when my kids were first starting to think about driving and realizing that cars ran on gasoline and that they would have to buy their own gasoline to run their own car one day when they eventually had one--this was a little over 2 years ago. Then the price of gasoline started going up at an alarming rate. They said one day in exasperation "gas is going to be $5 a gallon by the time we're driving!"

At the time I laughed it off; I'm not so sure now that they weren't right. Especially now when you're looking at almost $3 a gallon today.

Last year after Hurricane Katrina hit, and as we were driving to Texas on our only tank of gas, there was no gas to be found in Mississippi at all. If the stations had power, the lines were over a mile long. We were more than slightly worried that we would end up on the side of the road waiting for someone to come rescue us because we were out of gas.

All of these circumstances prompted us to get several 5 gallon gas containers when we returned from our evacuation from Katrina. These containers proved very helpful since gas was pretty scarce in South Mississippi for over a month after the storm. When we did get a ready supply of gas in South Mississippi we were on a price mandated by the governor at pre-storm prices, so that we never really felt that crunch that everyone else did last summer, and were rationed to either $10 or $20 a stop.

All of this to say that Ernesto formed and we filled up our gas containers and bought water this weekend and considered where we'll evacuate and what intensity of storm will prompt that decision. It looks like we're going to be safe--at least the projections now would say so--but the "lessons" we learned from Katrina are still deep in our minds. We'll be like those folks who lived through the depression. Only instead stuffing money in our mattresses, we'll hoard things like water bottles, gallons of gasoline and lots and lots of granola bars!