Monday, September 10, 2007

Diet and Exercise...

Everyone knows that to lose weight all it takes it to watch what you eat and exercise. Why is something that is really so simply, so difficult to carry out?

Is it because I'm so stressed in my daily life? Because that's certainly true, and it certainly takes away the energy I need to focus on eating more healthy and finding time to exercise?

Is it because I'm busy? Related to question #1, busy-ness certainly is a factor in diet and exercise working...you have to have time to go to the grocery store, to develop a menu of food that is healthy and fairly easy to prepare (remember time is a problem), you have to have time to prepare all this wonderful food. When I worked hard on the Dr. Phil weight-loss plan, I had such a hard time with preparation...and since I don't really like to cook all that much...

Is it because I have some really bad habits that are extremely hard to break? I LOVE sweet food. I could eat nothing but sweets all the time, with the occasional "real" food break somewhere in there. I also love to snack while I work on the computer, and to drink coca cola.

Is it because I, at my heart, hate to exercise? I don't mind moving around and doing stuff. Walking all over Europe did not even once make me say "I hate this exercise!" But I hate going to the gym and doing the same task repeatedly. It bores me to tears and makes me feel like tearing my eyeballs out. While I don't mind walking, there really isn't a good place to walk in our neighborhood--sidewalks are scarce and those that are there are really bumpy or littered with pine cones and other debris.

Is it because somewhere along the way I've learned to love myself for who I am and my size doesn't really bother me? Sure, it's irritating to get on planes and not fit comfortably, but for the most part, I don't notice that I'm big. I have cute clothes, I don't have aches and pains, and don't feel ugly or unworthy. My self-esteem, while a good thing, seems to keep me from being overly motivated to lose weight--or to make the sacrifices I need to to lose weight.

Is it because I don't have any major health issues and haven't felt strongly compelled to lose weight in fear that I'm going to die?

Whatever the reason for my struggle, I really do want to lose weight. I want to go to Europe next year and hike around in the mountains and not feel winded after 2 minutes. I want to shop in regular sized clothing stores. The options are so much more than what I have currently...I could spend some serious money on a new wardrobe. I want to get into an airplane seat and fit comfortably--or as comfortably as one can in such a cramped space.

But all this want doesn't seem to help in my daily battle to choose healthy food that I think tastes bland and boring. It doesn't motivate me to get up in the morning to exercise. It doesn't motivate me to tackle my sweet addiction and cut them out totally again.

In case you can't tell, I had a bad week last week--over all, not just in relation to my eating and exercise. I gained a pound, which isn't really all that bad, and I'm not really all that bummed about it (expected it to be worse actually). I am bummed that I can't seem to do what seems to be so simple and just get myself on track to lose weight and be much thinner next summer so when I go to Europe I'm in shape, healthy and can handle all the hiking to all the wonderful mountain views I have the option of...must get on track!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This is a great essay. I think you're cute as can be the way you are, but I can understand you wanting to lose weight. And yes, you do have cute clothes. Honestly, I don't know what it takes. If you want to do it, then I hope you can find a way. I love you no matter what.