Today I will take a giant step forward

Mother may I?  Please?  Pretty please with whipped cream and cherries on top?

I'm going to sit down and make myself make these revisions today.  I am thankful that I have Fridays off this summer because it does give me a free day to work on this stuff...

I'd rather be weaving and working on my new knitting...and whatever else one does with a day off--oh yeah reading!  Soon, I'll be able to do that all the time, so today I'll "suck it up" and get on with it and hopefully this will be the last major go-round, and a defense will happen before the end of the summer semester as planned...

Fingers crossed for me everyone!

Two Steps Forward and One Backward

This dissertation business is tiring...exhausting...and unbelievably frustrating.

It's not a big step backwards, but it is, and it means time spent not getting to the defense...and that seems to be all I care about right now.

I'll need to revise some data analysis.  I know it's the right thing to do, and I'll go through with it, but still.  I just want to sit down and cry and throw and big hissy fit and all that stuff! 

Instead I'm trying to remain poised and professional.  I think I'm waivering, though, towards hysterical two-year old mode before long!

Resume normal life

Revisions are complete and sent to my dissertation advisor.  I can resume normal life until I hear back from her!

Revising

I'm revising the dissertation this week.  I'm hoping to have revisions finished and it sent off to my committee by Monday next week...then I prepare my powerpoint presentation and wait until the defense, which will hoepfully happen sometime between July 7-12.  Wish me luck. 

I hope to be back on in the meantime, but can't guarantee it...I'm feeling rather stressed right now.

Quilting

I haven't quilted since Katrina (that's almost 6 years). Not in a serious way.  I've made a quilt for a friend who lost her house in Katrina and then made the quilt bee quilt and tried to do a few other things, but nothing serious...nothing really "interesting"...and certainly not with the former passion that I used to quilt.

A few years ago I went to the Houston Quilt Shot to hopefully re-invigorate myself...it didn't happen.

However, Alyssa wins the quilt bee quilt and needs lessons, and suddenly I'm the quilting diva.  I just ordered a book, three patterns, and can't wait to get started!

Thank you Alyssa...

I'm nervous today

I'm going to see my dissertation advisor today to get the feedback about my draft.  I'm nervous because of all the misery and crap I went through at the University of Kentucky with my committee...I know it's a totally different situation and totally different people and that things are really not even comparable.  But tell that to whatever part of my brain has said that they are and it'll tell you that "you don't know that.  Maybe it is going to be JUST the same and after all this work I'll be told: 'start over because your work sucks.'"

And that's just terrifying, to be honest.  So, today I'm nervous and can't write anything interesting or pithy. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be back to my normal self.

Weaving as a Vocation

I've been thinking a lot lately about what I'd like to do when I'm finished with the dissertation.  I guess that makes sense since I'm almost finished with the dissertation.  While I've experienced a lot of down time with it recently (frenzy of work, then nothing for weeks, more frenzy...that sort of thing), it has occupied my brain and energy.  I'm "saving myself" for when I need to be in a frenzy and then recovering after the frenzy more than you'd think.

But, since I'm almost finished, I've been thinking how I will spend my time.  I'd really like to take back up my piano lessons.  Will try to find someone who teaches evenings or weekends.  I've also toyed with the idea of getting a French horn and learning to play again and possibly joining a local orchestra or band or something.  The one thing I miss about high school is the band.

Mostly, I've thought about whether I could quit the real world job and enter the studio--could I weave as a vocation?  The simple and easy answer to that is absolutely not.  I'd have to charge at least twice what I do and weave at least twice as much...and then get into a market where things were actually selling at a rate to support my yarn habit.  There's always the opportunity to open a store and see if I could make that fly.  I think in a different market than Hattiesburg I could, but I'd need money to set up a shop and I just don't have that.  So many things to think about, dream about, and hope that one day I can make it happen.

But I really would enjoy the opportunity to weave as a vocation--make it truly what I DO everyday.  Lately I've been dreaming of woven fabrics.  Last night's was awesome--this spotty white lacey thing.  This tells me that my brain is finally resting and coming to its own ideas of what I should be doing.

And how the PhD has anything to do with what I want to do with my life is a mystery I'm trying to solve on a daily basis...seriously, I should be finishing my studio piece if I were wanting to weave as a vocation.

Ah the curvy twists and turns that life takes.  And if you want to think WAY back, look at this blog post from January 2008 shortly after I got my loom.

Bad Hair

I typically don't have what I'd call "bad hair."  My hair has almost always done what I wanted, looked good and cooperated with me with minimal effort on my part.  I usually like my style and can, on most every day, get it to do something that looks decent.

Until this year that is...

My hair has been uspeakably bad this year.  I don't know what happened but a big chunk of it in the crown got severely damaged and ended up looking and feeling like straw for 3-4 months.  I've been trying to treat it and let it grow out and it's finally feeling like hair again and not sticking up everywhere.

But, as a result I've had to keep my hair short since the beginning of the year.  I don't like having short hair.  Short hair definitely has more bad hair days than long hair.  I actually struggle with it each morning trying to figure out how to make it look decent.  And I really don't like to struggle with my hair.  I like it to do what I want it to do and then stay that way all day.  Right now I think I look like a poodle in very bad need of a hair cut.

With a dark streak down the middle because I'm not dying my hair lately either...and while my color was close to my natural color, it was definitely lighter...

Puffy, unruly, frizzy, streaked and short hair is the name of the day.

And every morning I think of this poem for obvious reasons:

There was a little girl
who had a little curl
right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good
she was very good.

But when she was bad
she was horrid!

Never Disappointing

The Annual Thornton Thimbler Quilt Bee never disappoints.  The 19th was no exception.  On the way home David asked our favorite highlight...so hard to pick one. 

• Mine:  Getting to spend time with my family
• Alyssa's:  Winning the quilt
• Elizabeth's:  Spending time with family (and not working)

Fun times.  I loved the literary event as always.  Watching Doreen rap was awesome.  Seeing Kirby's first quilt was also awesome.  Watching Alyssa win the quilt was fabulous.  Glad to have her officially inducted as a quilter...whether she's ready or not!  Getting to know Emma better was terrific. 

I think it's funny how somehow we manage to do similar themed events--even though we're all so very secretive.  I sit back and wonder how it is our brains can think so similarly.

So, now, I sit back and think about the 20th...what can I do that no one else will do?  How can the girls and I plan a lunch that will be impressive and unlike anything else?  I will have to do a lot of remembering over the next 12 months to plan ahead to June 2011...oh the anticipation is unBEElievable!

19th Annual Thornton Thimbler's Quilt Bee

The 19th annual Thornton Thimbler's Quilt Bee begins today.  I'll go tomorrow with my girls and am looking forward to the whole experience very much.  I have grown to love this weekend that we spend together each year having fun with family and quilting on a quilt.  We hardly ever finish despite adding an extra day and (now) 4 new people.  Things we do besides quilting?

• play games--made up, real, imaginary, etc., usually with prizes
• eat elaborately planned and prepared meals
• go out to dinner where people gawk at us--12 dressed up good-looking women usually draw some attention
• talk
• talk
• talk
• laugh
• laugh until we cry
• remember
• stay up too late
• tell (and write) stories

The bee has been extra-special to me because it allowed me to get to know my mother better.  As a person, not as my mother. I learned to appreciate who she is and her sense of humor and values.  I am so happy that I was able to break away from that traditional relationship we had and see her having fun with other people.  It allowed me to have more fun with her.  I certainly hope my daughters have had the same experience with me.  In addition, the bee has let me get to know my very special aunts and cousins.

It is a tradition like none other that I'm aware of.  Anytime I tell people about the quilt bee they are always curious about what we do and why.  And after I start talking (they'll eventually have to interupt to get me to shut up) they inevitably say, "Oh it's like a family reunion." Yes and no.  It is in that we're all family and get to spend time together but it's so much more than just a reunion.  I honestly believe it has become an "institution" in the Thornton family and I'm very proud to be a member of such a wonderful group!

Let the fun begin ladies!  But don't have all the fun today.  Save some for me tomorrow!

Things...the blog...my life

I've really been out of sorts the past year or so...as the dearth of blog posts demonstrates. I would like to find one thing to blame it on because that would result in a simple solution...but most of the time life isn't simple, one problem isn't the cause for most of us checking out, and solutions are usually much more faceted and complicated that we'd like.

I do hope I'm on the mend.  I'm not confident that I am, but I'm hoping that I can manage things in my life better than I have been and will be able to reconnect with family and friends through my blog page and overall.

So, what's happened?  I've been very very busy with work, very very busy with my dissertation, we've had major renovations in the house, my iron levels have gotten quite low, I've done quite a bit of traveling for work, gotten a new kitten and otherwise worn myself too thin (in the figurative sense, unfortunately not literal).  I haven't been able to read as much as I'd like, play piano very much, weave, or travel for fun.  In fact, I fear I haven't been much fun of late, and I'm ready to change all that.

So, here's to hoping that after this fun-filled bee weekend coming up (can't wait) I'll be "back on track" for my blogs: posting woven items, funny cat pictures (have I mentioned that the kitten fetches? so adorable) and general thoughts about life and how things are going.  Wish me luck...I've truly missed y'all!