Grandma's Hands

One thing that I never really realized was how much in motion Grandma was.  Her hands particularly were always moving.  Seeking out something to smooth, touch, or rub.  I had this moment of realization upon seeing her last week and realizing how very very still her hands were and how very very wrong that image was to everything I'd ever known about her.

I envisioned her sitting on the couch when company came over (I was a small child at the time, playing and sitting on the floor listening to their conversation.  It was summer and hot).  I looked over at Grandma and in her lap she held her hands together, but there was kleenex or handkerchief in her hands and she was fiddling with it.  I remember trying to mimic what her hands were doing but without the necessary prop I knew I just looked dumb, so I went back to my playing.

In the picture above, Grandma is holding her hands just like I remembered from that day long ago.  After that first image of me sitting there watching her hands, I had the image of this picture which I look at often.  I love the happiness that's on everyone's faces here.  We look truly content (It was taken during Christmastime 2006).  If you look closely you'll see that Grandma has her hands in her lap, Alyssa's are just the same.  Elizabeth is hugging my arm, which is another image I have of Grandma's hands. 

The number of times she reached out to hold my hand is countless in my mind.  But there I am, holding on tightly because she never held hands loosely.  If you have pictures of Grandma, go back and look at them.  She's almost always holding onto someone's hand.  At minimum she's touching them. 

I truly think this is one of the reasons that so many people felt loved by Grandma.  She always wanted you to know that she cared about you, and she showed it through her touch.