It's for the Walk In, You Know

Of course!

Let me explain. This morning my daughters were invited to go swimming with two of their friends. They were hurriedly trying to get ready and finish their chores before they left so that they could go. I walked past the bathroom to see Elizabeth straightening her hair. I couldn't help myself and asked before I thought: "Why are you straightening your hair when you're about to go swimming?" And she replied "It's for the walk in, you know?"

Oh, of course! Why didn't I think about that?

Continuing on my journey to my bedroom, I found my husband in bed with his hand over his face quivering from suppressed laughter. He said, "Did she just say it's for the walk in?" Yes, I assured him. He said, "Is that normal? Because it defies all logic." Yes, I assured him, it is normal.

Thinking back to my own antics at 13-14 I remember one time that my cousin George and his best friend Walt came to visit without first letting me know they were coming and I was in my bedroom doing my "sand art" with some really skanky hair and grungy clothes. I saw them pull in the driveway and bolted for the bathroom where I spent the next 45 minutes showering, drying and curling my hair because I was horrified that they would see me in my unkempt (and it was quite unkempt) state.

Teenage girls do defy all logic. They're in some state between little kids and grown ups. They have insecurities where they shouldn't and confidences where they certainly shouldn't, and they often make no sense at all when they do things because they can't make sense of this new world of boys and social life and parental pressures. And they'll straighten their hair before swimming because someone will see them while they walk into the pool. They'll keep friends waiting for an hour because their hair was dirty. The fear of being judged is so strong and pertinent to their lives that they can't behave in a logical manner because the judgment is all that matters.

So, as we dance this very complicated dance with our teenage daughters, I keep reminding myself that they are very good kids. They behave most of the time, treat us respectfully most of the time, still seek out conversation with us and ask our advice on occasion. They have good friends who are supportive of them and they seem to be really confident and well-adjusted. In some ways they are doing so much better than I was at their age, and I am proud for that.

And on occasion, they remind me that sometimes it matters how you look as you walk into the pool and you should try to keep impressions good...